


And I will captivate you, with everything I've got

by emmalilybear, okliv



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: 3 Person Office- Poe Rey Ben, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst and More Angst, BB-8 Is Named After A Parking Lot, Ben comforts crying students and Rey loves him for it, Ben's a crier and it makes Rey squirm, Error 404 Kylo Ren Not Found, Eventual Smut, F/F, F/M, Foster Mom!Maz, Hardcore!Rey, Lots of history, Orientation!!, Poe Dameron is in charge and has a husband, Rey and Ben work in Student Affairs, Rey is bi, Slow Burn, Soft!Ben, Stupid Morons, Takodana University, Worth the wait, finally earning the rating, finn is the golden child, lot of angst, the timing is never right, they belong together and they know it they just wont admit it, you're gonna suffer but you're gonna be happy about it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-03
Updated: 2018-08-16
Packaged: 2019-06-01 17:02:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 30,663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15147770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emmalilybear/pseuds/emmalilybear, https://archiveofourown.org/users/okliv/pseuds/okliv
Summary: Rey and Ben have history. It’s a history that began three years ago in a gender-neutral bathroom, when the paths of their lives were permanently altered. From the moment they laid eyes on each other, they were destined to be intertwined for the rest of their days.





	1. Friday

**Author's Note:**

> This story is pieced together by bits of the past and present. Past is italicized.

“Rey, please get me those numbers immediately. I need to call reslife and make sure we have enough beds for everyone. Also go ahead and close registration while you’re at it.”

Rey shook herself awake, lifting her head from where it was leaning on her arm, now covered with a thin layer of drool. “Uh huh, you got it,” she grunted in response, blinking heavily. Poe’s office was right next to hers, so they never really needed to speak face to face. She could hear pretty much everything he did, from scheduling his facials to calling his doctor husband to ask what takeout was for dinner, so she figured he could hear all of her going ons just as well.

Summer orientation was just around the corner, and the orientation leaders were arriving for training in two days, which meant that life was as hectic as it ever got in the Student Leadership and Activities Office at Takodana University, where Rey worked. Poe was the Director, and she was the Assistant Director. Not to be confused with Assistant to the Director. She did just as much shit as he did.

Sleep was scarce these days. The orientation leaders hadn’t even arrived yet, orientation itself was still a week away, but the stress of prep and all of the organizing which went into the event was already hitting Rey like a truck. Answering emails was the bane of her existence these days, and she couldn’t help but doze off when considering how to answer some random mother’s questions about how her daughter could be in a single dorm room for summer orientation. It was one fucking night. She could live.

Rey logged in to her internal database and closed registration for the event. She pressed a few keys to run the numbers for Poe, and lifted herself out of her chair. She stepped into her office doorway and stretched, shaking the sleep out of her tired limbs. Days like today she thanked her lucky stars that her best friend worked only ten feet away.

Next to Rey’s office was a student administrator area, characterized by a long desk and what felt like hundreds of bins holding everything from feather boas to tablecloths, lining from wall to wall. Usually Rose or Finn, the orientation co-chairs, were sitting there, ready to greet anyone who dared enter their tiny department. On the other side of all that chaos was Ben. Her Ben.

* * *

 

_“Rey, please do me a favor and try to clear out at least some of the shit in the corner office, I don’t want the new Program Coordinator to have to sit on a stack of cardboard cutouts of wookies,” Poe yells from his office, where he is anxiously trying to complete onboarding paperwork._

_Rey groans internally. She has only been working at Takodana U for a few short months, but she really likes it here. She and Poe have a great dynamic going; he lets her mind her own business and do her work at her own pace, and he doesn’t seem to care that her arms are generously sprinkled with tattoos. It’s more than she could ask of any previous boss. She doesn’t want some new person coming in and ruining that, or god forbid, outshining her and taking her job. She loves her job._

_After a few moments of deliberation (should she start a protest? Make the new employee work in that cavern of student life garbage?), Rey hauls herself over to the corner office. “Jessika, could you give me a hand? We need to make some space for the new coordinator.” Rey is glad the student admins are still intimidated by her. They’ll do whatever she asks whenever she asks. They don’t have to know just yet how much of a soft spot she has for them._

_Jessika eagerly hops away from her computer to join Rey in the corner office. The two of them stare at the office, filled to the brim with never given away prizes, helium tanks, champagne flutes, and just pure, utter garbage. Jessika fetches some garbage bags and empty bins and the two of them get to work. By the end of two hours, the place looks half decent. Lacking in personality, but decent._

_Poe graces the two with his presence for a brief moment, quickly enough to say, “Wow! Great work you two. Time to go get the newest member of our team. Try to look less sweaty when I get back.”_

_Rey waits until he turns around and scurries away before rolling her eyes. She grabs a few items from her office to freshen up and heads to the gender-neutral bathroom, the most private place on campus. She swings open the door with a huff, and finds a man that could only be described as tall, dark, and handsome standing before her._

_She stops in her tracks, muttering a stream of nonsense, “Oh, shit, I’m sorry… um, I love this bathroom. Wait, that sounds weird. I mean, I’m surprised that someone else is in this bathroom because this is where I go sometimes cause… you know what? I’m going to stop talking.” Rey mentally cringes and starts to back out of the door which had just barely swung shut behind her. The man stares at her with an unreadable expression on his face. He is good looking, there’s no doubt about it. He has long, dark hair which casts a dark shadow on his face, emphasizing his aggressive features. He has a big nose, big ears, and a gorgeously big mouth. And those eyes, they’re damn beautiful, even as they stare at Rey as if she’s from another planet._

_Rey realizes she has paused to stare at him for just a moment too long, and decides that she might as well hold her ground at this point. She struts over to the sink and begins to touch up her makeup in the mirror. She notices him staring as she perfects her winged eyeliner that had slightly smudged._

_“What are you looking at?” she asks him. “This is a gender neutral bathroom, we’re both allowed to be here, stop looking at me like I’m the biggest freak you’ve ever seen.” His reply of silence terrifies her. Was that too much? She just likes to assert her dominance._

_“I’m sorry,” he mumbles, breaking his gaze and staring down at his shockingly large hands. “It’s my first day and here, so I’m pretty nervous. I was in here trying to calm down before I have to go meet my boss. And then you walked in and freaked me out a little bit.”_

_Rey pauses her deliberate movements with her eyeliner pen for a moment. His voice is so fucking deep. It rattles her core a bit, and she feels an unexpected, but not unwelcome, heat creep between her thighs. Also, she doesn’t know whether to be offended or not._

_“Why’d I freak you out?” she asks. “Let me guess, the tattoos? Or perhaps my gothic appearance, as the kids say these days.”_

_He chuckles lightly, beginning to wash his hands at the sink. When he finishes up, he grabs a paper towel and heads toward the door, looking less uneasy than he had before. With a small grin on his face, he looks Rey dead in the eyes and says, “Nah. Mostly because you’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen.”_

 

_Somehow Rey makes it back to her office. That interaction really shakes her to the core, and she completely forgets that Poe is expecting her to greet the new employee. She ambles down the hallway a few minutes after the interaction, her mind floating somewhere in space with the mysterious bathroom man. She rounds the corner into the office, and makes her way to her desk, not noticing anything out of the ordinary._

_“Rey… Rey… REY!” Poe calls her name from around the corner with increased agitation. “Would you kindly pull your head out of your ass and please come introduce yourself to our new coworker?”_

_She sighs and submits to Poe’s demands, running her hand through her hair as she prepares to face the newest pain in her ass. As she turns the corner into Poe’s office, her heart drops in her chest. No fucking way. Of course. She was a dumbass not to have put two and two together._

_There he is, sitting in a chair across from Poe: sexy,_ sexy _bathroom man. He looks as shocked as she is feeling, jaw dropping at the sight of her. She makes a snap decision; it would be best if Poe did not know that they had already met._

_Rey sticks out her hand eagerly, with a smile on her face. “Hello there, it’s so great to finally meet you! My name is Rey, and I’m the Assistant Director. I’m really looking forward to getting to know you here.” Her smile slides into a sneaky grin as she anticipates his response._

_He carefully takes her hand in his own and squeezes it. “Well, Rey, I sure am looking forward to working with you. My name is Ben Solo.”_

_Ben. Her Ben. She flips the name over in her mind a million different ways; it is perfect, fitting, just right for the large, kind man sitting in front of her._

_Poe claps his hands in delight. “I’m so glad to see this team chemistry! Ben, I think you’re going to be very valuable to have around here, especially during orientation season. Now that you’ve met the whole department, feel free to get settled in your office, and shout with any questions!” Poe dismisses them both, and they leave the office side by side._

_Once out of Poe’s line of sight, Rey looks up at the man from the bathroom. Now known to her as Ben. “You know Ben, I think this is going to work out. Poe is right, you’re a great addition to this team.” She struggles to rein in the flirtatious edge in her voice. But luckily, Ben smiles in return. His teeth are the slightest bit crooked, and she finds it endearing._

_“I think so too, Rey. Can you do me a favor though?”_

_Rey freezes in a moment of terror. He’s going to ask her to quit it with the flirting. She’s not even flirting! Well, even if she is, she can’t help it - he called her the most beautiful girl he’d ever seen!_

_The timbre of his voice returns with nothing but kindness, “Can you show me the best place to get a cup of coffee around here?”_

* * *

Rey peeped her head into Ben’s office and smiled at the sight of him. He always had looked so huge behind a desk, ever since the first day she’d met him, three years ago. She lingered in his doorway until he looked up from his computer and returned the smile she was shooting at him.

“What are you so happy about?” he inquired, leaning back in his chair with his arms crossed. “Poe didn’t sound too thrilled while he was yelling demands at you over there.”

Rey rolled her eyes and plopped into the beanbag chair in the corner of Ben’s office, still mostly filled with the department’s junk. She sighed and shut her eyes, letting her body relax into the chair. “I’m just really glad you work here,” she said. That shut him up.

He let out a small chuckle and leaned forward to return to his computer. Rey didn’t mind. Who was she to keep him from doing his work? She was happy simply to be in the same room as him for a few seconds of relief. But next thing she knew, Ben was putting his computer screen to sleep and standing up to tower in front of her. One massive hand reached out.

She grinned and placed her own hand in his, in what was practically a handshake. Then he squeezed her hand and yanked, lifting her out of the beanbag chair. She let out a high-pitched noise and stumbled into his broad chest. For the briefest moment, she could feel it rise and fall as he took a breath, and she was comforted by the steadiness, the liveliness, the eager beat of his heart.

“What do you say we go get some coffee?” he beamed down at her.


	2. Saturday

The orientation leaders were arriving on Sunday, so Poe decided to be so generous as to give the office a break on Saturday. It was the weekend, after all. Ben decided that since it was their last day of relative normalcy before all hell broke loose, he and Rey must do something to celebrate. What better way to enjoy a day off in the middle of June than to go to the beach? He could actually think of many better ways. But Rey loved the beach, so… they were having a beach day.

Ben met Rey at their mutual train stop at 9 AM with coffees in hand. Rey’s smile lit up her face the moment she spotted him, and she picked up her pace to join him on the platform. She had a huge bag slung over her slim shoulder, and Ben wondered what on earth she could possibly be bringing to justify a bag that size.

“Hey, you!” Rey said as she shoved him a bit with her free shoulder. “Did you miss me in those fourteen hours apart?” She let out a slight laugh at her own humor, awaiting his response.

“I didn’t really have time to miss you, to be honest,” he replied, giving her an inscrutable look. “Yeah, with all that time off I really explored my passions, you know, travelling, got to go to some great concerts, just really lived my life to the fullest.”

Rey laughed so hard that several people on the platform glanced at the pair to make sure everything was okay. Ben’s heart swelled. Few things made him happier than making Rey laugh and break her serious exterior. No one could do it quite like he could.

“Well, you must be exhausted. Thank god you just get to lay on a beach all day, huh?” Rey grinned up at him. She knew he wasn’t a beach person and was just humoring her by going. He smiled in response and grunted his unenthused agreement.

They rode the train together sharing headphones to listen to one of their favorite albums as they travelled to the farthest stop on the line, Revere Beach. Rey eagerly hopped off the train and inhaled deeply, but Ben couldn’t help but notice a shack of a restaurant named Peter’s Super Beef directly across the street. Some beach this was.

“Ugh, nothing compares to ocean air in the lungs. Breathe it, Ben!” she looked at him with pure sunshine radiating out of her face. Ben took a deep breath.

“Ah, yes. That ocean air.” It smelled like fish to him. But he loved to see her smile. They walked down to the shore, and he let Rey pick out the best spot for them to camp out. Every open area seemed the same to him, but she took up issue with most of them. Finally, they made it to an open spot next to a relatively calm group of high schoolers and an old man laying in a lawn chair who looked like he had been there since 1965.

Rey opened the massive bag and took out a huge beach towel and an umbrella. “That’s for you,” she said, handing the umbrella to him. “God forbid we get any color on that porcelain skin of yours.” She shoved a bottle of sunscreen into his hands too, even though he had brought his own. They set up their things and lay side by side in relative peace.

Ben didn’t like the sand in between his toes and in the pages of the book he was reading. He didn’t like the hot breeze flipping his pages for him. He didn’t like to feel his skin becoming redder with little control over it. He didn’t like how cold the water was. He didn’t like having to listen to the hundreds of other people on the beach, their music, their screaming children, their arguments about where to park the car.

But he loved Rey. He loved to spend time with her, no matter where they were. No one made him as happy as she did, just like he could make her smile in a way no one else could. As they lay side by side, none of the things Ben didn’t like about the beach mattered. What mattered was the two of them, telling stories, sharing snacks, reading their books, making fun of the people around them, being together.

By the time the sun was setting and they began to pack their things, Ben wasn’t unhappy. In fact, he didn’t really mind their day at the beach. He might even do it again, with only minimal resistance. He snapped a photo of the sun setting over the ocean and decided he might make it his screensaver later.

With all of their things magically fitting into Rey’s bag once more, they began to walk back to the train station to go home. Ben spotted an ice cream stand out of the corner of his eye.

“Hey, do you wanna grab some ice cream? On me, if you want,” he proposed to Rey. She immediately began walking in the direction of the little shack.

“Ben, that’s not even a question. Yes. But you’re not paying for me, you got coffees this morning. This one’s mine,” she said with determination. Ben knew better than to argue with her.

They approached the stand, and he ordered a blue raspberry slushie while she got chocolate ice cream in a cone. She handed over some cash and collected their treats, gesturing towards an open picnic table. Ben sat down opposite her, and they enjoyed their desserts in silence.

Ben watched her devour her massive cone. Chocolate ice cream was surrounding her mouth, and a bit of it was on the tip of her nose.

* * *

_“My favorite day of the year!” Poe exclaims, rushing out of the office. It’s finals season during Ben’s first year at Takodana U, and while the students are so stressed that they’re having breakdowns and cutting their own bangs, the Student Leadership and Activities Office is buzzing with excitement. Mostly Poe’s. It’s stress-busting week, which means that there’s an ice cream truck on the quad._

_Rey appears in Ben’s doorway. “Are you coming outside? The ice cream’s free, you know.” Ben is so busy he can barely afford five minutes to go the bathroom, and he knows that going to this event with Rey and Poe could be an hour long ordeal._

_“I think I’ll pass this time, sorry,” he replies._

_“Not taking that as an answer. This is your first stress-busting week here, and I really think a little of your own stress needs to be busted. You’re coming,” Rey decides for him, and she grabs one of his arms to pull him out of his chair. He barely budges. It still surprises him when Rey gets so into these things, but he supposes it’s why she works in student affairs. In his mind, though, the only things she gets excited about are video games, tattoos, her weird music taste, uhh… pokemon? And little else._

_He decides, well, Rey decides for him, that it’s at least worth a look. He’ll go, make sure the students are having fun, see that Rey gets some ice cream, and come back to the office._

_It’s a gorgeous day outside. May has just begun, and the earth has finally decided to loosen its grip on winter, releasing it into warm, spring air. Ben squints in the sunshine and makes out Rey walking quickly towards the ice cream truck parked in the middle of the quad._

_“Chocolate, please!” she states as she cuts to the front of the line. She turns to look at him. “Perks of being staff, not student. Want anything?” Ben shakes his head in reply. She gives him a judgmental look and thanks the man scooping for her cone. The two of them walk to a bench near the business building, watching Poe chat with students with a large cone in his own hands._

_Rey is a messy eater. She devours that chocolate ice cream with absolutely no reservations. Once the cone is gone, in nearly five minutes flat dear god, Ben looks at her with what begins as disgust, but quickly turns to endearment. There’s a perfect little circle of chocolate ice cream on the tip of her nose. Luckily, he had thought to grab a few napkins, having seen her eat a few times before._

_Ben stuffs his hand into his pocket and grabs a napkin. He considers his options briefly and decides that rather than say anything, he’ll just solve the problem himself. He has a tendency to do that. He gently wipes the ice cream off her nose, and she look up at him in surprise. She looks beautiful, grinning from ear to ear with the sun shining brightly on her face. Her soft brown hair flutters around her face in the breeze, and her eyes twinkle with joy._

_“Thanks,” she whispers to him, and neither of them can stop gazing at the other._

* * *

Ben stared at that dot of ice cream on her nose and was struck with a memory that made his heart skip a beat. So much had changed in the years since they’d first met. He remembered the first time he’d seen this girl cram an ice cream cone down her throat. That was before… everything.

Staring at that tiny mess on her face, Ben thought he had a chance. He considered his options, and decided not to say anything. Instead, he leaned across the picnic table and slowly wiped it off with a napkin from the table. The moment he touched her face, Rey let out a small gasp. Her eyes locked onto his, but not with the happiness he had expected. It looked something more like uneasiness.

It threw Ben off guard, but with the taste of blue raspberry and one of his favorite memories still lingering on his tongue, he decided to take a chance. Maybe enough time had passed that she might forgive him. Maybe he could finally say “I love you” in the way he truly meant it.

With the napkin still hovering over her nose, Ben reached his other hand across the table to softly cup her head. He leaned his head towards hers until their foreheads were touching. He could smell the chocolate sugar on her mouth. Rey’s breathing came out raspier than it had moments before, and Ben moved to close the gap between the two of them.

“Ben, I can’t,” Rey pushed away from him and got up from the picnic table. He stared at her, dumbfounded, as she paced back and forth, refusing to look at him.

“Rey, I’m so sorry, please forgive me,” Ben was immediately apologetic. How could he have misread things so awfully? He had been riding a high from a day spent together in the sun, when clearly she actually hated him. She probably didn’t even want to be here. Did he actually force her to come to the beach with him?

Rey continued pacing, head in her hands, shaking her head. “No, Ben. It’s not your fault. I- I think I’ve been leading you on a bit.”

 _Oh no._ She hated him.

“I don’t know what to say. I just don’t you want you to get the wrong idea about anything.” She said, seeming to choose her words very carefully. Ben wondered to himself what she could possibly mean. He was the one that had broken up with her all those months ago, after all. And he had certainly not gotten over it. And… she couldn’t have either… right?

“Rey. What are you saying to me right now?” Ben stared at her, still appearing to be in some sort of inner turmoil, as he tried to figure out what could possibly keep her from giving in to what they both wanted, what they had both craved since the moment they laid eyes on each other.

She turned to look at him. _God, she had beautiful eyes._ With a sudden resolve, she placed her hands on her hips and opened her mouth to stab Ben straight through the heart.

“I’m with someone.”

Ben felt his entire world come crashing down around him. The crash of the ocean waves, the sound of sugar-filled children buzzing around, cars humming on the street, all of it was gone. Radio silence filled his ears as he stared at the only other person in the universe, the only person in his life who he utterly loved.

“Why?” the question came out of him as barely more than a breath. Certainly she had expected him to ask _who?_ , but it didn’t matter who it was. His everything had given her heart to someone that wasn’t him. And she knew full well how delicately he had placed his own heart in her hands years ago, for keeps.

She stuttered a bit, reaching for any answer that could appease him. “Ben… you broke up with me, remember?” He sure did remember. He had watched his own heart shattering in the palms of her hands.

“Ben, I know how you feel about me,” she said tenderly, coming to sit next to him. “But the fact of the matter is, you made a decision. And now we both have to live with it. So I’m choosing to try to find some happiness in someone else, since we both can’t have it they way we want from each other.” She stared at him as she spoke, with a growing look of concern. “Are you okay?”

Okay was the furthest word from describing how he felt. He was fighting with a lump in his throat that refused to back down to where it belonged. Having to hear her say those words, and knowing that he was the reason this was happening at all, that his own decision was the reason tears were beginning to break out of his eyes and stream down his face in graceful trails, that someone else got to hold her at night, that she might ever love stop loving him and start loving someone else—

It broke him.

Ben rose from the table and began to walk away, muttering “Leave me alone” in Rey’s direction. He heard her calling out his name and scrambling up after him, but he could only stare straight ahead and keep walking. Her voice got louder and louder somewhere behind him, but it was all he could do to get as far away from her and this place as possible.

“BEN!” she screamed at him, causing families trying to enjoy their ice cream to stare at them. He stopped in his tracks. Might as well let her try to apologize, he figured.

“You do NOT get to be angry at me for this!” she exclaimed. He turned around to find her in a rage, cheeks pink with exertion. “You fucking dumped me. Try to drill that through your thick head. I’m with someone else now, getting treated better than you EVER fucking have. You need to let go of whatever feelings you’re still holding on to, because I’m OVER you. Just like you wanted back in December.” She stormed towards him, face twisted in rage, still yelling at the top of her lungs. “Do you remember that? Huh, do you? Cause you’re out here trying to KISS me, and it seems like you’ve forgotten that you BROKE MY HEart!” Her voice cracked on that last syllable.

She gave up her tirade and whipped around to return to the picnic table and lift that massive bag over her shoulder once again. Ben stood still, mind completely blank. She was right, and he knew it.

He stared at her, mouth agape, trying to find any words at all. She walked to where he stood and crossed her arms, waiting for his reply, knowing full well that she had struck the final blow. Rey wasn’t one to let on to her emotions, and the fact that she just bared her heart to not only Ben, but the crowd of people which had gathered to watch, told Ben that he had really upset her.

Pushing his own inner turmoil to a back corner of his mind, he looked at Rey’s tear-stained face from several feet away. It killed him that he was the one who made her cry. Again.

He took several large strides and was at her side, lifting the bag off her shoulder to carry it himself. “I’m sorry,” he murmured. “For all of it.” She looked into his eyes for a few moments, and ultimately gave him a small nod.

“Let’s go home,” she said, turning towards the train station. The crowd dispersed, looking confused as to how such a heated argument could end so quickly and with such amicability.

 

The two walked in silence to the train, and sat next to each other in that same silence until they were only a few stops away from their destination, when Ben decided that he ought to try to act normal about this whole thing. They did have to work together, after all.

“So, uh… who is he? The guy you’re seeing, I mean,” he trailed off.

She looked up at Ben with fierceness in her eyes, “The he is a she,” she stated. “Her name is Chris. We met at a rally against gun violence. She works at a nonprofit to help fight childhood poverty.”

Ben tried his hardest to keep the shock he felt off his face, but he couldn’t help a slight blush from rising to his cheeks. He knew Rey was bi, but he knew it more in the sense of concept rather than execution. “Oh, that’s great! I’m so glad that… that’s great for you. Yeah.”

Rey looked down at her hands, a barely noticeable blush rising to her own face. “Ben, I’m sorry I reacted the way I did back there. I shouldn’t have lashed out at you like that… it was wrong of me to keep this from you.” She looked up at him with wide eyes, pleading for him to accept her apology.

Try as he might, Ben couldn’t resist that face. He put an arm around her shoulders and pulled her into his chest for a hug. “It’s fine, Rey. You’re my best friend. Friends fight. We’re good.” He felt her smile against him. They stayed like that for the rest of the train ride, until they reached their stop.

They hopped off the train side by side, and Ben handed her back her bag. She took it and looked at him with a forced smile on her face. “So, see you tomorrow?” she asked.

Ben began to feel his emotions catching up to him. He started walking backwards and shoved his hands into his pockets. “Tomorrow,” he declared, turning on his heel to head home. The image of his beautiful Rey, standing on the platform with a bag as big as she was, staring at him with baleful eyes, burned itself into his mind’s eye. He held tight to it all the way home.


	3. Sunday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey's request that Ben meet Chris leads him to remember that fateful night, six months ago, when both his and Rey's hearts were broken.

“I think you should meet Chris.” Ben looked up to Rey standing in his office doorway. She was leaning to one side, her arms crossed. Her short hair was pulled up into a bun with strands that couldn’t reach framing her face. She was wearing tight black jeans and a _Stranger Things_ t-shirt with black high-top converse. Her eyes softened when he looked up at her. “It would certainly make me happy.” Rey gave him a soft smile. She knew he would do anything to make her happy.

Ben leaned back in his chair, “Maybe.” He crossed his arms, rather indignant.

Rey rolled her eyes and smiled. “Great. Dinner at my place at seven.” He nodded and went back to work. Or at least pretended to. Ben stared at his computer; he was currently making the list of orientation groups, giving each orientation leader a fair amount of first year students who had registered. He didn’t do a lot in the office during the summer. In fact, he felt kind of useless sometimes. Out of the three of them, Poe and Rey really carried a lot of the weight, while Ben was the support system. Out of the three of them, Rey was the only one who didn’t know he applied to other jobs starting in the fall. He was overqualified and under tasked here at Takodana. He knew he could do more, help more students. And maybe even be with Rey, out of the shadows and in the sun.

That plan was slightly foiled by the fact that Rey was no longer single. Like she was supposed to be, so that when he eventually left Takodana, they could finally be together. Ben sighed and got back to work, thinking of what food he should bring, knowing Rey and her _very_ limited kitchen skills.

 

Ben stood outside Rey’s apartment on Beacon Street. On the doorstep, he shook his head in disgust. “Masochist.” He said under his breath, unprepared to meet the absolute love of his life’s new girlfriend.

Ben didn’t even bother knocking as he approached Rey’s house at a ripe 6:59. He crossed the threshold, holding a pan of lasagna, only to walk into the kitchen and see Rey pressed against the counter. Her head was thrown back and her mouth agape as her hands grasped at blonde hair. A blond head that was sucking at her neck, attached to a body equally as small as Rey’s.

Ben almost dropped the lasagna in shock. He cleared his throat and Rey instantly came out of it. The blonde head was not so eager to stop.

“Fuck.” Rey pushed the blonde away from her.

Ben’s temper quickly got the best of him. He put the lasagna down on Rey’s kitchen table. He was overcome with anger and most of all, hurt. So much hurt. He was already putting himself in a painful situation by showing up here. Rey was the most important person in his life. He hadn’t lost her to a bitter breakup and he would be damned if he lost her because he couldn’t get along with her girlfriend. Unfortunately, this sentiment wasn’t in his focus when he absolutely lost it.

“You asked me to come over to meet your girlfriend and have dinner. And I said yes. Because I am a good fucking person and your best fucking friend. But seriously Rey? You know how I fucking feel about you!” He yelled and Rey was shocked. Ben paid little attention to Chris coming to Rey’s defense while Rey stood there silent. The last thing Ben saw were Rey’s eyes turn from upset to pure rage. He whipped around and stormed out, yelling curses with each step he took towards the front door.

With one final slam of the front door, Ben started walking down the street, too heated to even call an Uber. He debated walking all the way to campus when he heard yelling behind him.

Ben turned around. Rey had followed him, her small frame stomping angrily towards him. “Ben Solo! What the fuck!?” She yelled at him, he was a bit further up the road than herself, but not too far to be unable to hear her, better yet, feel her rage. She was steps behind as she took an extra moment to talk to Chris after what had just happened.

“You cannot come into my home and start fucking yelling at me for no reason!”

“NO REASON? You were practically having sex, just waiting for me to walk in!”

“Fuck you, Ben! I can kiss my girlfriend in my own fucking house! You do not get to walk in there like you own the damn place. We are OVER.” Rey took a deep breath after the final word, knowing she had won. Neither of them felt like winners.

Ben felt defeated. But he had one question for Rey. The only thing that had been burning inside of him since he learned she had moved on.

“Why are you with her?” Ben asked, exasperated.

Rey’s eyes blew open, “What do you mean?” _Was he kidding?_

“We’re not supposed to be with other people. We’re supposed to both be suffering.” Ben’s voice choked up towards the end. Rey didn’t know how to respond.

“You broke up with me.” Rey said defeatedly. She wished she had the energy to scream it at the top of her lungs but, she was so tired. She had been tired for months, she had been tired since December 26th when Ben told her he wanted to break up. No, needed to break up. Rey looked into Ben’s regretful, tear-filled eyes and wondered if he was also remembering that night.

* * *

 

_Rey gasps in shock. Ben looks on in glee as the expression on her face is completely in awe as she lifts the lid of the small black box._

_“Ben, you should NOT have gotten this for me,” she says in all seriousness, meeting his gaze with wide eyes. Usually Ben would quake for a moment at that tone of voice coming from his girlfriend, but today is Christmas, and he can only smile._

_She lifts her present out of its wrapping; it’s a beautiful watch with a thin black leather band and silver detailing. She ogles over it, surely trying to mentally calculate how much he spent on it as compared to their barely making ends meet salaries. Not that money will really ever be an issue for Ben._

_They’re at his parent’s house (or rather… mansion) to celebrate Christmas, and Ben has been acting sheepish about it ever since they arrived. As Han whipped into the long driveway towards Ben’s childhood home after picking them up from the airport, he heard Rey quietly gasp as she took in the magnitude of the house. It is rather large. Han loves his cars, so of course they need a three car garage to fit them all. And with all of Leia’s politicking, obviously they need a lot of guest bedrooms. Ben mentally repeated these rationales to himself as he watched Rey gape at the house. He knows she’s never had money to spare, and he feels a bit ashamed at the house’s blatant show of wealth._ Damn you, stupid house. _He bites his lip now, watching her conflicted emotions about her beautiful, but definitely expensive, gift._

_“Rey, don’t worry about it. I wanted to get this for you. Consider you accepting this without a scene a gift to me. It is Christmas, after all.” He hopes his reasoning with her will keep her from making them get in a car and returning the watch immediately._

_All his fears are relieved as she sets the gift gently down on the velvet couch and wraps her arms around him in a tight hug. “Thank you,” she whispers, and it makes the hairs on his neck stand on edge. He smiles to himself, burying his face into her hair. “I love you. Merry Christmas.”_

_She pulls herself out of the wrap of his chest to give him a soft kiss. “Merry Christmas,” she breathes onto his lips._

_The pair jolts apart as the door to the living room swings open and a short, strong woman begins yelling in their direction. “Ay, lovebirds let’s break it up! There are potatoes to be peeled and drinks to be poured. Rey, don’t move a muscle, stay right there, you’re our guest. Ben, move those long limbs and come make yourself useful in the kitchen, will you?” Leia whips back around and heads into the kitchen, gesturing for Ben to follow her. Rey giggles and releases her hold around Ben, giving him a slight kick in the calf._

_“You heard the woman, get moving!” she says as she leans back into the couch._

_Ben grins. “Quit enjoying this so much.” He lifts himself off the couch and heads towards the sounds of knives chopping and women gossiping._

_The moment Ben crosses the kitchen’s threshold, Leia forcefully grabs him by the arm and drags him into an adjoining room, where Han is waiting for them. “What the hell is going on…” Ben mutters, relatively uninterested in whatever family discussion is about to happen._

_“Son, we need to talk to you,” Han states in a low, serious voice. Leia merely nods and watches Ben pitifully._

_Ben’s palms begin to sweat. “What is happening right now,” he asks, looking back and forth between the two of them. “Did Chewie die? I saw him outside this morning-”_

_“No, Chewie is fine,” Leia interjects. “It’s about you and Rey.” She casts an uneasy glance towards Han. Clearly they had discussed this ahead of time, Ben thinks to himself._

_Han begins to speak in a slow and deliberate tone. “Listen, kid. Rey is great. She’s awesome. Those tattoos are pretty badass. Frankly, I’m shocked she decided to get with you. But you gotta break up with her.”_

_Ben’s jaw nearly hits the floor. “What the fuck do you mean, I need to break up with her?” His eyes go wide with disbelief._

_“Ben, we’ve been around the block a few more times than you have, and to be frank, dating a coworker is NEVER a good idea,” his father plainly tells him. “It always ends the same way - either one of your careers is bombed, or both are.”_

_Leia nods in agreement and chimes in. “I know how much you love this job and working with those kids, and we just don’t think you should risk that for a girl. You’ve_ finally _found a job that makes you happy and allows you to do some good, and I think you should hold onto that.” She watches his expression shift from disbelief to consideration. She pushes their point harder. “You’re kind of at the bottom the pyramid at Takodana, right?” Ben gives a slight nod. It’s true - Poe isn’t going anywhere, and Rey is technically his superior, though they operate as partners. Leia presses on. “If your boss finds out, or god forbid the students find out about this, then you’ll be the first to go - no references, no backup options. And you’ll be out of an apartment too, right?”_

_It’s true. It’s all true. And it has all crossed Ben’s mind before, but not in the same way that his parents think. He worries for Rey, not himself. Rey, who absolutely loves her job. Rey, who adores the students she works with every day, who has become a confidant for them, who spends endless hours consoling criers in her office and helping others breathe through their panic. Rey, who has dedicated her entire life to Takodana and could fill Poe’s shoes in a heartbeat if he receives a promotion or decides to leave._

_Then he thinks about himself. He doesn’t do all too much around the office. His skills could be utilized more elsewhere. He has connected with a few students, but most turn to Rey before they turn to him. Sure, he lives on campus, but he could just tap into the trust fund to rent a new apartment and find a new job._

_Rey doesn’t have a trust fund. She doesn’t have much of anything. She has this job, her students, her dog, and Ben. She can’t lose her job. She’d go crazy without her students, or without her beloved dog. But… she would probably be okay without Ben. He doesn’t know if he can say the same about how he would do without her._

_Ben looks up at his parents, having made his decision. “You’re right,” he says, looking into his mother’s concerned eyes. “I’ll break it off. Our jobs are more important.”_

_Han and Leia exchange a quick glance, as if to ask each other if it was really that easy. “Um, alright then,” Han stammers, leaving the room. Leia takes one of her son’s hands into her own._

_“We’re just trying to protect you, sweetheart. We don’t want you OR Rey to lose your jobs. I don’t want you to feel like we’re just doing this to take something away from you,” she says._

_“No, you’re right,” Ben says with resolve. “We can’t lose our jobs.”_

_Leia doesn’t look satisfied quite yet. “Ben, I have to say… I’m surprised about how easily you agreed to this. I expected a full blown tantrum, storming out and everything. Are things okay with you and Rey? Were you already looking for a reason to break things off?”_

_Ben is taken aback. His eyes go steely as he gives his mother a hard stare. “If you’re suggesting that I don’t love Rey, you’re so far off. I’m doing this because I love Rey.” He turns to leave the room, muttering a stream of curses under his breath as he goes._

_“Had to give me this fucking talk at Christmas, huh. She already fucking hates Christmas.”_

 

_Dinner is awkward, to put it kindly. Ben barely says a word, causing Rey to overcompensate, babbling on about anything and everything just to fill the silence at the Solo end of the table. The other senators and their families carry on as if nothing is out of the ordinary, not noticing the way that Ben just keeps pushing food around his plate, Han makes the world’s most tense small talk with Rey, and Leia glances between all of them with intense concern written on her face. The moment they finish eating, Rey offers to help clearing plates with such vigor that Ben knows it has registered with her that something is wrong._

_He follows her into the kitchen, carrying his own dishes. They stand side by side at the sink, and Rey immediately looks up at him with wide eyes._

_“Your family hates me.” She says it as if it is certain fact, the way one might say the earth is round. Ben feels something drop in his stomach._

_“No, no, no,” he quickly replies, needing to relieve her worry. “They really like you! They told me earlier.”_ It’s true _, he thinks,_ and then they told me to dump you _. “It’s just… they have other stuff going on right now. Politics stuff. It’s been tense for a while.”_

_He can see Rey’s shoulders relax and her eyes soften. “Oh thank god,” she says. “They’re really cool. And I really want them to like me.” She wraps Ben in a quick hug. “Thanks,” she says into his chest. Ben wants to cry._

_“Yeah, any time,” he replies. “Let’s finish clearing that table so we can call it a night.”_

_She looks at him with mischief in her eyes, “Alright, let’s! Then we can defile your childhood bedroom,” she grins, wrapping her hands into fists in his knit sweater. She pulls him down to her level and whispers in his ear, “fuck this place, right?” She releases him and walks back into the grandiose dining room. He sure does love to watch her leave a room._

 

_The next day, Han drops them off at the Detroit airport in his beloved Falcon. Ben still festers some bitterness towards the car he was never allowed to drive. It always felt like Han loved it more than his own son. He whips up to the curb and unlocks the doors. “Alright, kids. Fly safe. I hope the pilot isn’t an idiot. Ben, give your mother a call when you get to Boston.” And that’s that. They grab their bags, and Han drives away._

_They board their flight on time, thank goodness, because every minute alone with Rey is painful to Ben. He can’t stop playing over in his head the ways how this breakup could go. He torturously plays over the words he’ll say in his mind. And every minute is one minute closer until he actually has to do it. The thought makes his stomach flip, and not in a good way. When he goes to the bathroom for the third time on their flight, Rey asks him if something is wrong. He says it's just travel sickness. Ben hasn't been sick on a plane in his life, not in any of the hundreds of trips he's taken with his parents._

_Sitting next to Rey on the plane is agonous. She smells like flowers and mint. When she leans her head on Ben’s shoulder his heart nearly breaks. But he's saving that for later._

_They arrive in Boston and take an Uber back to Rey’s apartment. The minute they cross the threshold, Rey drops her bag in the ground and folds her arms._

_“Something is wrong,” she says, staring at him with hardness in her eyes._

_Ben’s heart skips a few beats. “Uh, what do you mean?” He tries to play dumb._

_“What do you mean, what do I mean? First of all, your parents were so weird to me today, and you can't blame that on politics problems. Second, you've barely spoken to me in the past twenty four hours. You've been weird. What's up?” She looks at him plainly, simply yearning for an explanation._

_“I- I haven’t been weird,” Ben nervously says._

_Rey’s frustration begins to show. “UGH Ben, would you please just talk to me? You’re not helping by avoiding whatever it is you’re keeping from me. Even your dick knows you’re hiding something from me.”_

_Ben’s shock must be written all over his face because Rey continues on, “Oh come on... you couldn’t keep it up last night. And you kind of looked like you wanted to cry the whole time. So please. Tell me, whatever it is.”_

_Out of every scenario Ben played out in his head in the last day, this is not one of them. He did not expect to have to do this with her begging for him to speak. He opens his mouth._

_“Okay… um… this is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do-”_

_Rey interjects immediately, with impossibly wide eyes and an incredulous expression, asking, “Are you breaking up with me?”_

_Ben’s mind goes completely blank, and the only answer he can summon is one simple “Yes.”_

_He watches as her eyes fill with tears and her eyebrows scrunch up to form a small line in the middle. Her cheeks go red and she takes a few stumbling steps backwards._

_“Ben… why? I thought we... things have been so good, I just went home with you… where is this coming from?”_

_Ben feels a lump rising in his throat and swallows hard before he answers. “It just has to happen. I’m so sorry Rey, but this can’t go on forever. I just think we need to take a break for a while.”_

_“Fuck a break,” Rey replies, walking in a small circle, hands running through her hair, tousled with leftover holiday curls. “Do you want to be with me or not? I’m not taking a break. It’s all or nothing, Ben. What do you want?”_

_Ben wants a break. Once he leaves Takodana they can be together again. But he can’t let her know that he’s doing this to preserve her job security, she’d kill him. She’d rip his head off for suggesting that she’s one who needs to be protected, who couldn’t handle being fired, who’s incapable of handling the consequences of her own actions. So he opens his mouth and breaks both of their hearts._

_“I don’t want to be with you. I’m done with this.”_

_Rey gazes at him, mouth agape. She is utterly speechless. “Ben…” she says quietly, walking towards him._

_He knows that if she touches him, he’ll crumble completely. “I have to go,” he says, grabbing his bag and turning to leave her apartment. He hears her let out a sob behind him as he opens the door._

_“I’ll see you in a few weeks, Rey,” he says as he takes one final look back at her. Tears are running down her face and she’s clutching the side of her couch, looking breathless._

_“I don’t understand,” he hears her whisper faintly._

_With his heart shattering into a galaxy of pieces, he leaves._

_Snow is falling in soft, fat flakes outside. Beacon Street looks stunning in the soft glow of the streetlamps, townhouses being covered in the fluff. Ben tries to walk away, but his legs give out beneath him and he sinks onto her top step, leaning onto her front door. His tears fall in soft, fat drops, melting the snow beneath them. His body trembles as he silently sobs, and he swears he can hear her crying on the other side of the door._

* * *

 

Ben looked back at Rey, remembering that fateful day. Arguably the worst day of his life, the day he broke Rey’s heart, and his own. Ben had always known that Rey would have trouble understanding, which was why he felt like an idiot already for what he was about to say.

His anger rose in his chest as he finally replied, “You don’t know what that was like for me!”

Rey looked incredulous and sarcastically yelled, “Oh! I’m so sorry that you _had_ to break up with me. You never even gave me a reason _why_.”

“I did that for you!” Ben raised his voice a little higher, his bones filling with anger. He wanted to scream from the rooftops how she would never appreciate how entirely selfless their break up had been.

Still sarcastic, she replied, “Well, thanks a lot Ben, it was a great fucking life experience. I’ll make sure I never give someone my heart so easily again.” She started to cry. Rey refused to acknowledge her tears, much to Ben’s dismay. He was so tempted to reach out and brush the tears from under her eyes.

“I know it was fucked up.” He yelled, “But...” Ben trailed off.

“‘But’ what Ben?” Rey put her hands on hips. Her small frame made her impossibly adorable, it almost made Ben smile. _Almost_. He knew he would never see the light of day again if he laughed at her while they were arguing like this.

“I had to… I had to…” He repeated himself. This was it, he was about to tell the last secret he had ever kept from Rey. She nodded at him to continue. “My parents suggested I break it off cause they knew we worked together… and I thought it sounded like a good idea.” Ben’s hands grasped for air as Rey tilted her head and furrowed her brow in confusion. “You are so good at your job, and… I didn’t want to take that from you.” He stopped as she processed what he told her.

“That sounds like fucking bullshit, Ben. You let me believe that Leia and Han hated me, that I wasn’t good enough to fit in your perfect, rich world.” Rey was growing more and more visibly upset.

Ben frowned, “I know. I know, and I’m so sorry.” He paused. “I’m so sorry, Rey.” Ben had never felt this low in his life. He only hoped that his apology sounded as raw as insides felt. Ben’s stomach turned with having finally revealed the cause of the torture they each had endured in the last six months.

“I love my job but… I loved you more.” Ben’s dropped head shot back up at her, eyes wide. “You should have known that.” Rey turned around and walked back down the street. Back to Chris, away from Ben. He didn’t even try to make her turn around.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *sigh* poor babies...
> 
> Hello readers! Thank you so much for checking out our story, or reading the next chapter if you're one of our beloved bookmarks. From now on, we'll be posting a new chapter every Wednesday!
> 
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> 
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	4. Monday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Monday has arrived, and so have the orientation leaders. As drama unfolds, Rey is reminded of just how good Ben is at dealing with crying students.

“What do you mean, we have to submit testimonies?” Daisy looked from Rey to Ben and back again with wide eyes. “We’re barely involved in this whole mess!”

Rey felt Ben tense up beside her. He was the most empathetic person she knew, taking on others’ feelings almost more than his own. She knew this was going to be hard on him.

She sighed and took in the sight before her. Finn and Rose, the orientation co-chairs, as well as Daisy and Ellie, two of their best orientation leaders were all crammed into the department office with the door shut tight behind them. They had all just received emails from Dean Hux that they needed to meet with him to submit statements for the current honor board case against Qi’ra, a former orientation leader gone rogue. The case was truly disgusting, and any testimony was valuable at this point. Anything to get Qi’ra out of Takodana.

Rey and Ben both knew the emails were coming. They had met with Deans Holdo and Hux a few days earlier to be briefed on the situation. But it still didn’t prepare the two of them for having to see the looks on their students’ faces.

“Listen, guys,” Rey said in her most controlled tone of voice, “It’s gonna be okay. I know it’s scary, but Hux is just trying to do his job and get Qi’ra off campus, for good.”

“Hux is fucking useless at his job,” Finn said, rolling his eyes. “I’m just gonna go to Holdo directly, she’s the one that’ll end up doing all the work on this case anyways.”

“We need to follow procedure.” Ben was finally speaking, in a surprisingly shaky voice. Rey wanted to reach out to him, to let him know that she was right there by his side.

Then she remembered how last night had ended. How she had rolled out of bed after Chris had fallen asleep to go cry in the bathroom, wishing that things had ended differently between her and Ben, both that night and months ago. How could she still love Ben after all he had put her through with his stupid, flawed logic? Watching him reach out to this students with his heart on his sleeve reminded her how she could.

* * *

_Rey senses some kind of commotion and peeps her head out of her office. Rose is knocking on Ben’s closed door._

_“Hey! He’s at a meeting right now. What’s up?” Rey asks, stepping into the hallway._

_Rose turns around. Tear lines are streaked down her face. Rey is immediately taken aback; she doesn’t handle crying students quite as well as Ben does, but it looks like she’s going to have to today._

_Rose shifts a bit and avoids eye contact for a moment before speaking. “Do you know when he’ll be back?,” she asks, looking up at Rey._

_“I’m not sure…” Rey considers her options. Ben is in a meeting with Dean Hux, which could take anywhere from five minutes to five hours. Taking a look at Rose, she decides there is no way she can send this girl back out into the shark infested waters of the college hallways. “Come into my office, let’s chat,” she finally says, gesturing towards her door._

_Rose hesitates for a moment, then nods and enters Rey’s poster-covered office, which looks like a Comic Con explosion. Her eyes linger for a moment on Rey’s Pokemon calendar, turned open to April, a drawing of Bulbasaur as a succulent. She sinks into a chair in the corner, and her crying increases in ferocity. Rey sheepishly holds out a box of tissues. “Tell me what’s going on, Rose,” Rey probes. “I’ve never seen you like this before, what’s happening?”_

_Rose blows her nose snottily and takes a moment before answering. “It’s about Qi’ra. I just saw her in the hall, and she started yelling insults at me and all my friends, and Paige got super upset, and I just hate to see her hurt over this, she’s my twin sister, and I can take Qi’ra’s wrath, but I don’t want her going after Paige, too. This whole situation just SUCKS, and I don’t know what to do and it seems like it’s never going to get any better,” she blurts, convulsing into a new wave of sobs._

_Rey takes it in for a moment. She never knew how seriously Qi’ra was affecting her brightest students. She is considering what to say in response when there’s a soft knock on her door. It opens a crack and Ben peeks his head around the corner._

_“I thought I heard you two,” he says, coming in to take a seat next to Rose. “Hey,” he says in a tender voice, “tell me what’s going on.”_

_As Rose repeats her spiel, Rey thinks to herself how perfect Ben’s timing is. Ben’s soft side makes him exceptionally great with upset students. He is also the most caring and trustworthy person in the world, and no one knows that better than Rey. In a matter of five minutes, he’s able to rationalize the situation with Rose, encourage her to talk to Hux and offer to accompany her, and most importantly, get her to stop crying. Rey always feels like a deer in headlights seeing crying students and makes it her mission to get far away as fast as possible. Of course, tasking Ben to handle the mess she dutifully avoids. But, that doesn’t mean she doesn’t care. She cares. A lot. She’s just not as good at dealing with it as Ben._

_Once it seems like Rose is capable of walking the halls again, Rey butts in to the conversation. “Rose, I just want you and all your friends to know that we will do everything in our power to protect you. I mean that. I want you to come directly to us the next time Qi’ra does ANYTHING to threaten you or your friends. Your safety is our number one priority. We can’t have anything coming in the way of our best and brightest, okay?” Rose smiles and nods._

_Rey notices Ben staring at her. The look in his eyes is that of pure worship. Rey feels a slight blush rise to her cheeks._

* * *

Ben spoke to the students gathered in front of them, looking for answers, once more. “If Qi’ra comes anywhere near any of you, I want you to call me immediately. We’re doing everything we can to protect you. Rey is working closely with Hux and Holdo to make sure that he’s off campus as soon as possible. But in the meantime, we want to do everything in our power to make sure that you can succeed in your jobs as orientation leaders. Okay? But my door is open. Come talk to me about any of your questions or concerns. Please. I’m- we’re here for you.” He ended his monologue with a single nod.

The students looked much more relieved than they had upon entering the office, and most filtered out, giving thanks in Ben’s direction.

Finn edged over to where Rey was standing, nudging her lightly in the arm. “I’m tellin’ ya, Rey. You’ve got a gem of an employee right there. Are you _sure_ you don’t want to hop on that?” he said under his breath playfully.

Rey frowned. All the orientation leaders loved to read into her and Ben’s relationship which normally, was amusing. Today it felt like pouring salt in a fresh wound. Rey tried not to think of last summer, when everything had been perfect. An entire year had gone by, and yet she felt farther away from Ben than she ever had. Rey put on a playful grin and shoved Finn away. “Y’all need to quit it with these stupid rumors, alright? Get to work! The kids are coming in three days, you have shit to do!” She crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow.

Finn let out a quick bellow of laughter before rounding the corner out of the department. He held onto the doorway and poked his head back in, looking at Rey. “I’m just saying, you’d be making a lot of people out here happy… and winning me a $50 bet!” He winked and let out another laugh as he jogged away. Rey could barely suppress a smile. She had always had a soft spot for that goofy kid.

Ben took a few steps in Rey’s direction with an inquisitive look on his face. “What was that about?” he asked with genuine curiosity.

Rey spun around and began to head back to her office. “Nothing that concerns you!” she stated in his direction. “Back to work.”

Ben stood there, his eyebrows furrowed. _What had Finn said?_ Rey had barely spoken three words to him so far today. He hoped the students weren’t taking notice.

His walk home last night had been full of new resolutions and promises to himself. As badly as he wanted Rey, and despite everything they had said, he still loved her. With this love and respect in his heart, he made it his mission to accept their new life as friends. He accepted that he would probably never be as happy as he was during those six months when they were together, but it didn’t mean he would never be happy again. He wanted her to be happy, that was more important than anything else. With this resolve in mind, Ben turned around and walked into his office, his shoulders down in defeat. _Stupid pretty blondes._

He sat at his desk and reflected on the meeting they had just had with his favorite students. It really got to him that they felt so much fear from Qi’ra. He wished he could do more. Ben sat at his desk, mindlessly clicking a pen and wracking his brain for ways to help his students.

Suddenly, without even really knowing what he was doing, Ben opened a blank document and he immediately began typing. Ben knew how important it was for Hux to have as much evidence of first person accounts against Qi’ra as possible. He had always been close to Rose and her twin Paige, he had had countless interactions with the three of them, including Qi’ra herself. He decided that his way of helping besides providing support for his kids (he couldn’t help calling them that sometimes, they were like family to him) would be to write down every time he could recall Qi’ra in a harmful situation with himself and others. He didn’t have much of a job to do today anyway.

For the rest of the afternoon, Ben typed furiously into a blank document. After several hours and no check-ins from Rey, although he wasn’t surprised, Ben had written fourteen single-spaced pages of everything that happened during the last two years with Qi’ra on the orientation staff. It felt like a weight was lifted from his shoulders. He only wished he could share it with Rey. As he wrote everything that had been plaguing his mind, but more importantly, Rose and Paige’s minds, he felt lighter, as though he was finally standing in the sun. By 5 o’clock, Ben’s fingers ached from typing, but with a final once-over, he emailed the document to Hux with remarks of his full support for expulsion.

Ben packed up, feeling satisfied, hoping he was doing the right thing, and that it would be helpful. As Ben closed and locked the door to his office, he ran into Rey, who was pulling her own door shut with a huff. They both turned around and stuttered out a hello. Ben felt nothing short of pathetic. It was his fault, he knew it was.

“I’m sorry.” Ben blurted out. They were both surprised by his sudden apology. Rey’s eyebrows raised as Ben continued to stutter, suddenly not knowing how to speak.

“Ben, can we not do this here.” Rey’s voice was low, they were still several feet apart. She nodded her head towards Poe’s open office door, where he was certainly still hard at work.

Ben shook his head, “Yeah, sorry. Of course.” They walked out in tandem. Ben was close enough to touch her and had to stop himself from reaching out to grab her hand, put his hand on the small of back, anything to feel his skin on hers.

They walked quickly through the student center. Rey gripped her bag and picked up her pace, seeming desperate to remove herself from Ben’s sullen energy. The two were hit with a wave of summer heat when she pushed open the doors of the building. He knew that her all black attire never helped the fact that she immediately started sweating in the summer heat.

“Rey, wait up!” Ben called to her as she hustled her way down the sidewalk. Here they were, once again on the damn sidewalk. Rey didn’t stop walking and refused to turn around. Ben rushed in front of her, pulling her arm to stop her. “Rey, please. Please.” He asked desperately.

Rey pushed her sunglasses to the top of her head and crossed her arms. “Yes, Ben. I know you’re sorry. But I’m not sorry for being royally fucking pissed off at you.” His eyes fell. Rey lowered her sunglasses, gripped her shoulder bag and kept on moving, leaving a defeated Ben in her trail.

The pavement felt hot under the slim soles of her sneakers. As she stormed away, knowing Ben was left unmoving in her wake, Rey felt her throat tighten.

Why did it feel like she had left her heart on the burning hot sidewalk?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello readers! 
> 
> If you've made it this far, thank you!!! This chapter is a bit more lowkey than the others, but stick with us, because big things are coming. Comment if you like!


	5. Tuesday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tuesday is a special day for a reason that Ben has forgotten and Rey uses to her advantage. *cue pancakes, naps, and vinyls in a basement*

Persistent knocking on the door of his apartment jolted Ben awake in his bed. There was no one else in the building, since all the students besides the orientation leaders were home for the summer, so Ben was left clueless as to who it could be. And god, it had to be early. Bright morning light streamed into his room as the window shades floated with the summer breeze.

Maybe it would just stop on its own. He rolled over and buried his face in his pillow.

The knocking continued, only increasing in ferocity. He tilted his head to squint one eye at his alarm clock. 7:05 AM, Christ…

Ben lifted himself onto his forearms and let out a low groan. He needed every minute of sleep he could get with another day of orientation training today, and now some devil was at his door, depriving him of another precious hour. He lifted himself out of bed, grabbed a flannel off the floor to somewhat cover his bare chest, and walked to his door to stop the awful sound once and for all. He expected to see a woman from the college’s cleaning service, or maybe an employee from Facilities, so he couldn’t keep his mouth from gaping open a bit at the sight that met him when he swung the door open.

“Rey?”

She stood, blinking up at him, holding a balloon bigger than she was and a tray with two coffees. Somewhere behind all of his shock, Ben felt a smile trying to creep its way onto his face. He hated to admit it, but she looked kind of adorable. Her hair was messier than usual and she was wearing a dark gray short sleeve button down, rolled up at the sleeves for a generous view of her tattooed arms, black denim shorts, and her trusty black converse.

“Happy birthday, Ben.” He was speechless for a moment. Mostly because Rey was on his threshold, so… she didn’t hate him. But also because he had completely forgotten that today was his birthday.

“Oh, shit.” He couldn’t keep the words from spilling out of his mouth. One of Rey’s eyebrows arched upwards, betraying a bit of her own amusement. He opened his mouth and attempted to string some words together into an actual sentence.

“I mean, hey… uh, thanks for this. It’s kind of early, so uh, what’s happening right now?” He stood there, mouth hanging open, still blinking sleep out of his eyes, knowing full well that he sounded like an absolute idiot, but being too confused by the sight in front of him to care.

Rey’s face twisted a bit, and Ben realized she was trying to hide a grin of her own. “We always celebrate your birthday together,” she said plainly, “I figured we could squeeze in a bit of celebration before training starts today.” Ben’s confusion doubled, no, tripled as he took in what Rey was saying. His mind flashed back to the last time he had seen her. She had looked so small as she hurried away from him on the sidewalk outside the university. He had felt defeated, shattered in place, and had spent the rest of the evening moping around his apartment, drinking red wine glass after glass, scrolling through the photo album on his phone of pictures of the two of them.

This all came flooding back to him in an instant, and he shifted to block the doorway with his frame. With the a familiar heartache rising in his chest and the bitter taste of Pinot Noir still lingering on his tongue, he felt the softness he always kept for Rey inside of him harden. Rey looking absolutely adorable and bearing gifts was not enough to make up for the rollercoaster of emotions the past two days had wrought on them. Ben clenched his jaw.

“I thought you hated me.” It came out colder than he would have liked. He instantly regretted his tone when she replied.

She matched his resolve with an equally cold response. “Are you going to invite me in or is this a conversation we’re about to have in the hall for the whole world to hear?” Ben moved his body to allow her to walk inside. She purposely bumped his chest with her shoulder. Rey became overwhelmed with the scent of him.

She couldn’t sleep at all last night. Nothing about fighting with Ben made any sense in her body. Her heart hurt, her strength was low. It was fundamentally wrong in her soul. She also hadn’t talked to Chris since she left the apartment the morning after Ben and her had fought. Rey couldn’t get herself to respond to the endless stream of incoming texts, calls, and voicemails. She wasn’t doing it on purpose, even her subconscious knew Ben was her priority. After tossing and turning all night, Rey went to the supermarket right as it opened at 6 AM and bought this stupid balloon, not knowing what else to do. She didn’t have a plan, she just knew she needed to see him. Needed to forgive him. What better way to accept an apology than to give a balloon in return. And it was his _birthday_. Ben _loved_ his birthday. Rey made a quick stop to Starbucks to get her and Ben’s orders. A large black cold brew for her. An iced soy milk caramel latte for Ben.

There was a long and uncomfortable silence as Ben stood there, anxious to see her. Rey could feel the hopeful nervous energy radiating off of him. As well as the realization that today was his birthday. The moment he opened the door she could tell by the look on his face; she couldn’t believe that all of their drama had caused him to forget entirely.

Rey, being the blunt person she was, decided to simply say it, and before she knew those three words fell from her lips.

“I forgive you.” She expected for him to be relieved, but what she didn’t expect was for Ben to start full on crying.

He sniffled and Rey sighed. She walked over to him slowly as if she was approaching a wounded animal. Rey pried Ben’s hands from his face. “Hey, hey now, stop that.” She said tenderly. After a few moments and Ben still crying, her cheeks were starting to flush. “Ben, please please please stop crying, I cannot handle this.” She said firmly. Then with excitement, “Look! I got you a balloon!” Ben, the poor freshly-woken man, had stopped crying, and like a damn toddler looked at the balloon and smiled. Rey sighed and shook her head. “I swear to God.”

Rey’s comment had taken Ben out of his balloon-induced trance. He turned to Rey again and enveloped her in his arms. She let out an unexpected yelp before sinking into his touch, his scent, his warmth. It only reminded her how truly happy she was in his arms.

* * *

  _“I want this. I want us. Me and you.” Rey whispers low to Ben as she lays in his arms. They’re in a park, stargazing, or really, watching planes leave the airport since the Boston air is too smoggy to truly see the stars. Ben’s arms wrap tighter around her._

_“Let’s do it. Let’s be together.” It is a beautiful night in mid-June as they sit facing the Charles River. They’ve been preparing for summer orientation, the students are due in one week and Ben is helping Rey everyday to secure speakers, venues, and registration. The last few months have been full of late night hookups and stolen office kisses, but never any declarations of promises. They’re non-committal, they have to be. Rey is Ben’s direct supervisor, and their office is just three people. Poe can fire the two of them with one snap of his fingers, and they both know it all too well._

_Rey shifts in Ben’s arms to look up at his face, enjoying the way she can feel the steady rise and fall of his chest. Despite the sparkling water in front of them and the glowing city skyline behind them, Ben’s face is the most beautiful sight she can see. She sighs into his neck._

_“Say yes, Ben. Please.” She can feel his heart rate quicken a bit. She knows he has wanted this just as badly as she has, since the moment they met two years ago in the gender neutral bathroom. But his silence is deafening. Rey begins to softly press kisses into his neck, knowing every spot to make him weaken beneath her touch. “Please,” she whispers into his ear, grabbing it by the lobe every so lightly with her teeth._

_Ben pulls his face away from hers to look at her with the utmost sincerity._

_“You’re not gonna break my heart though, right?” He locks eyes with her as he says it, giving her a soul searching gaze. She nearly laughs, but manages to bite it back._

_“Pshh come on. I would never,” she scoffs in return, placing a hand on his face. She tries to return the seriousness of his expression, but finds it difficult. He looks too angelic, long hair floating in the warm summer breeze and imploring her not to break his heart, as if she could ever._

_She knows he can tell she’s taking it lightly when he opens his mouth next. “Swear on it,” he says, grabbing her hand and clutching it in his own warm palm._

_Suddenly a wave of insecurity comes over Rey. She looks out towards the river as a million thoughts crash to the forefront of her brain. They work together, and if they’re ever found out, both of their jobs are in jeopardy. If she’s fired, she has no savings to fall back on. She won’t be able to pay rent, she won’t be able to live in this city anymore. Not to mention she won’t have a reference, so there goes any shot at a job at another university. She’d be utterly screwed._

_But… it’s Ben._ Her Ben.

_He’s been hers from the moment they met, and she’s been his. She loves him with her entire being, with everything she’s got. She doesn’t have to say it, and neither does he, it’s an unspoken truth. It wouldn’t matter if she didn’t have a job, as long as she had Ben. The thought of a life without Ben is unutterable, impossible. She would be nothing without him._

_In that moment, she looks back at him with a new confidence. She’s sure._

_“I swear.”_

* * *

 Ben squeezed Rey tightly into his chest, wishing with every fiber of his being that they could go back to how perfect things had been one short year ago, kissing lazily in the warm summer night air as they made promises they thought they could keep. But he knew in his soul that it was impossible, especially after everything they’d been through together. A few final tears streaked their way down his cheeks until he took one big, shaky breath and released Rey.

She looked up at him, still with a bit of hesitation in her eyes, but with a soft smile painting her beautiful face. “So… pancakes?” She grinned up at him.

He let out a bellowing laugh and ran a hand through his messy hair. “Yes,” he said, “shower first, pancakes second.”

Rey nodded and sat herself down on his couch, taking a good look around the apartment for the first time since she’d arrived. “Ben, when was the last time you cleaned this place?” It was rather messy, he had to admit. Dirty clothes were strewn on nearly every surface, dishes had piled in his sink, and the place looked like it hadn’t seen a vacuum or dusting in weeks. Rey huffed and stood right back up again, heading towards his closet. Ben hesitated and then opened his mouth, knowing full well nothing he could say would stop her from taking care of him.

“Rey, you really don’t have to,” he trailed off. She yanked a long forgotten vacuum out of his closet, sending a pile of boxes crashing down from a precarious pile. “Shut up, Ben,” she scoffed, “it’ll be done by the time you finish your lengthy beauty routine, alright? Now go cry in the shower! I want to have a massive pile of pancakes in my gut sooner rather than later.”

He smiled as he grabbed a towel and shut the door to the bathroom.

Rey looked around. He had really let this place go. She tried to reason that the stress of the upcoming orientation was the cause, but deep down she figured he probably just didn’t care enough to keep it clean for anyone. It was a validating confirmation that Ben hadn’t brought anyone home in recent history.

She got to work. In thirty minutes, when Ben finally emerged from the bathroom with a puff of steam following in his wake, his apartment looked like someone who actually gave a fuck about hygiene lived there. His eyes widened in amazement, taking in the state of it, then the sight of Rey dusting his windowsill, hair tied up into three small buns on the back of her head.

“Rey, you’re really too much. You know I don’t expect you to do this, right? Like, I feel bad. You’ve been back here for ten minutes and you’ve already done enough manual labor for the whole day.”

She turned to face him, placing her hands on her hips. She did not expect to find him shirtless, his whole muscular expanse of chest bared for her. She made a mental note that though he had let his living situation go to the dogs, at least he hadn’t given up his gym routine. God, he had a beautiful body. It had always amazed her, like the statue of a Greek god carved from marble. She cleared her throat.

Rey struggled to find words. “Trust me Ben, I breathe easier knowing that this place isn’t looking like a dumpster fire. It is genuinely my pleasure.” She mentally cringed. Pleasure was not a word she wanted to use around him anymore. Not when he was half naked and she was suddenly aware of every piece of clothing on her skin.

He smiled that crooked smile of his and strode into his bedroom. “Let me just grab a shirt and some shoes, and we’re good to go.”

Rey took advantage of his momentary absence to bop into the bathroom and glance at herself in the mirror. Frankly, she looked sweaty. Her hair was falling out of her buns and her eyeliner had smudged. She fixed as much she could when Ben appeared in the doorway. She caught him giving her a once-over in the mirror and smiled to herself. Her eyes locked with his in the mirror, “You ready?” He asked.

She nodded, “I need pancakes.” She tried to move past him but he stopped her. They were chest to chest and Rey’s heart was pounding. She looked up at him. They were too close. Close enough that Ben could lean down and kiss her. Close enough that she could stand on her toes and kiss him.

_Should she kiss him? No. She had made up her mind but she couldn’t let him know that. Showing up here was a risky move already, she couldn’t just kiss him._

And in perfect timing, Rey’s ever-reliable stomach growled. Ben laughed. “Okay, let’s go.”

 

Ben never imagined that he would be so lucky as to see Rey swallow an entire plate-sized pancake in three bites ever again. It was hard to imagine that after their shit show of a breakup he would ever find himself sitting across from her at their favorite diner again.

Rey had dragged him in here for dinner once as she claimed it they had the best pancakes, well at least that was what Yelp said. It was one of the first times they’d hung out outside of the office. Ben had casually let Poe and Rey know it was his birthday, and they had both completely freaked out. Poe cursed himself for not being able to celebrate, he had dinner with his husband’s family. But Rey knew that Ben didn’t know anyone in Boston, and she wanted to celebrate with him. She ordered them both pancakes and blushed when he laughed at her table manners. They sat there until 2 AM when the diner closed, laughing, talking, and eating pancakes.

Ben had always remembered that day as the day Rey became irreplaceable in his life, the day he completely fell in love with her. It never left him; her bright smile, the way she laughed, her resilience, the syrup dribbling down her chin that he so desperately wanted to lick off her face.

He couldn’t help but be brought to that exact moment, three years ago. And yet here he sat, in that same diner booth, still desperately in love with her, with three years of history in between them.

“So…” Rey started before abruptly putting more food in her mouth. “What are we gonna do today, old man?” She winked at him. Rey mercilessly teased him for being older than her.

He rolled his eyes. “Well, considering I kinda forgot it, I didn’t really have plans. Also, we do have to go to work at some point.”

Rey scoffed at him and rolled her eyes. “Not until two. That gives us a few hours. The world is our oyster, my friend!”

He ran a hand through his hair, racking his mind for things he had been wanting to do. Also… _friend_? Few words could describe what they were, but friends… didn’t feel like one.

He remembered Rey telling him about an old music shop he had stumbled upon but never had time to go in. It intrigued him, but more importantly if they went there she would stick around. “Let’s go to that record store, I’ve been thinking about going.”

Rey lit up. “What are we waiting for?”

They soon found themselves walking through aisles of tall bookcases holding books and CDs and records. Rey’s hand was clutched in his as she pulled him down to the basement. The aisles of bins of discounted vinyls greeted them along with the smell of dust and despair. Ben’s nose wrinkled and Rey’s eyes lit up. She approached each bin with a purpose, as if she was looking for something, which confused Ben, but he followed her, as he always would. He relished in her closeness, that she was allowing him to spend time with her after their fight. Ben knew he had broken her heart, there wasn’t a day gone by that he hadn’t regretted it, nor would he ever forget that look she gave him when he told her.

It was halfway through the bins in the basement when Rey started yawning, uncontrollably. Ben laughed, “Rey, that is the tenth time you have yawned in the last ten minutes. How much sleep did you get?”

Rey’s hands stilled over the dusty records, “Umm. None?” She yawned. Again.

“Yeah, okay. Let’s get out of here.” Ben took Rey’s hand again and they walked back to her apartment, it was closer than his and he didn’t want to deal with avoiding the orientation leaders, no doubt lurking on the quad. They had spent the entire day in trainings that, luckily, were not mandatory for Rey and himself.

By the time they rounded the corner onto Rey’s street, she was practically asleep in his arms. They walked through her door and Ben picked her up and carried her upstairs to her room. He almost tripped on BB who was walking in between his feet. Ben placed Rey on the bed and took her shoes off.

“Goodnight, sweetheart.” Ben whispered before shutting the door.

“Stay.” He heard as the door clicked. _What?_

“What?” Ben asked, praying what he had heard wasn’t a figment of his imagination. He watched BB hop up onto the bed and curl himself on one side of Rey.

“Please, Ben. Stay with me.” She patted her hand on the bed. There was a big enough space for him right next to her.

“Okay.” He took off his shoes and climbed into bed. He was careful not to touch her. He wanted her to have her space, since she was clearly coming down from a sugar high and didn’t know what she was doing.

“Closer.” She mumbled, voice groggy with sleep.

Ben sighed and moved to his side, throwing an innocent arm around her. She leaned back into him and he was suddenly very aware of where he was and how many nights he had spent in this bed. And how that stupid blonde had also been here. And how this was his punishment, he was being tortured by her for being so stupid. But God help him if he wasn’t grateful for every second he spent with her body pressed up against his.

He tried to be as not-creepy-as-possible, but he definitely watched her as she slept, taking in everything he had missed about sleeping with her. The soft flutter of her eyelashes with every breath, her soft snore. Ben smiled and was hit by a wave of exhaustion. It been a hell of a week for both of them, and they were finally back in their safe place. Back in each other’s arms.

 

By their 2 o’clock call time, Rey and Ben somehow made it back to the office. They had gotten an Uber over to campus together, and if anyone saw, decided to use the reasoning that they had needed to do last minute orientation planning together that morning, but didn’t want to be around the chaos of the orientation leaders. Poe would buy that.

As they strolled into the office side by side, Rey prayed that none of the students would be around to see them walk in together, but as she glanced around at the oddly empty student center, she found herself a little disappointed that Finn wasn’t there to nudge her shoulder and make fun of her for arriving together with Ben, both with a touch of bed hair. They rounded the corner into the office and Rey looked up at Ben, who was smiling sweetly at her. God, she loved that face.

“So let me know if you need any help managing the t-shirt delivery, I’d be more than happy to help you out,” he said in his most professional tone. Rey was struck by the way he could remove all the emotion she knew was brewing beneath the surface from his voice, but then he gave her a quick wink. Her heart leapt. _Why was she having fucking heart palpitations? She was still with Chris, after all._

She gave him a cheeky grin, replying “You’ve been so helpful today Ben, I can’t nearly thank you enough.” She turned around and strutted into her office, knowing full well how much he would enjoy the view.

A distant voice chimed in from the farthest office. “Are those my two favorite employees I hear? That’s the teamwork I love to see! Well, hear. Boy am I glad you’re both here, we’ve got a lot to do today.” Poe began to list a disgusting amount of tasks to complete, which would surely keep them in the office until well after dinner time.

Rey didn’t mind. Every task was just more time she got to spend with Ben, no excuses necessary.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Wednesday, readers! We're so thrilled with the amount of love our fic has gotten! We hope you're pleased with this chapter - things are beginning to take a turn for the better with these two... come back next Wednesday for more!
> 
> Please comment if you like!! (it makes us v happy)


	6. Wednesday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> BB's origin story and Rey makes a decision.

Rey stared at her computer screen for what felt like the millionth hour that day. She could only answer so many emails before going absolutely insane, and she was almost reaching that point. Orientation already kicked her ass enough without having to deal with worried parents who couldn’t leave their adult child (what an oxymoron) alone for two days.

She took off her glasses and pressed her hands against her eyes. The blue light from the computer was really getting to her. She needed to lay off the video games before bed. It also didn’t help that she was still recovering from her sleepless nights before Ben became a constant in her life again.

Rey made up her mind to answer two more emails in her most passive aggressive tone, and then get back to dealing with the actual students, the best part of her job. Besides her coworkers. Well, one coworker in particular.

Just as Rey placed her fingertips on the keyboard, like maestro ready to play a grand symphony, there was a scratching noise on her door. The door opened a crack, and one little black snout poked its way in.

“Jeez, I’m sorry Rey, I didn’t realize he got away from me. I know you’re trying to concentrate, that’s my bad.” Ben had ambled in behind her chubby corgi mix, scooping him up and giving his little head a pat.

She couldn’t hide her grin. The sight of Ben, looking nervous as all hell to have interrupted Rey’s supposed concentration, reminded her of the very first time he had that same expression on his face while holding that fat little dog, nearly exactly one year ago.

* * *

_“Are you trying to tell me you would rather make this drive alone?”_

_“Ben, would you please relax. It’s not like I’ve never driven on a highway before… also take a look at me. You think anyone would ever try to fuck with me?”_

_Ben darts his eyes away from the highway to glance at Rey sitting in his passenger seat. She looks hot. Her black v-neck is draped over her shoulders gracefully, allowing for full view of her thickly tattooed arms and sharp collarbones. Her tousled short hair is blowing in the warm breeze from the open window of his Subaru. Her sunglasses are perched on the bridge of her nose and she’s looking out the window while humming along to the radio, some pop punk song that Ben doesn’t really have a taste for._

_“Take this exit here,” she tells Ben as he puts his blinker on and takes the right towards Departures at Boston Logan Airport. Today, Rey is on a mission; it’s finally time to pick up her puppy._

_As the airport draws closer in sight, Ben hears a small squeal._

_“Maz just texted me! Their plane landed. God, I hope it likes me. I need this fucking dog to like me.” Rey looks a bit nervous as she squints over her sunglasses at her phone screen._

_Ben grins to himself and shifts his grip on the steering wheel. “Obviously the dog’s gonna like you,” he mumbles to himself._

_“What if he likes you better than me?” Rey whines. Ben’s large hands grip the steering wheel. Rey had been calming her self-doubt all week with the potential of sharing the dog. Ben isn’t sure if he’s prepared to co-parent with the girl he’s in love with._

_Ben shrugs and turns into the airport parking lot. “Well I can’t help being the most lovable person in the world.” Rey snorts from the passenger seat, shooting him a tender look. The kindness in her eyes quickly vanishes as she lifts her phone to her ear and her nerves return._

_“Yeah, we just got here! We’re in Lot BB, we’ll meet you on the sidewalk outside the terminal… okay, yeah… okay, see you soon.” She hangs up the phone and glances back at Ben. He looks adorable in his Boston Calling Music Festival graphic tee and light wash jeans. Sometimes Rey can’t stop her heart from beating faster when she looks at him. They’ve shared most of the summer together so far, and it has been absolutely golden. He stays at her apartment nearly every night, usually after they’ve had sex in at least two locations. They brunch together, go to concerts together, travel together, and still work in the office together, trying to keep Poe from suspecting anything._

_Rey’s train of thought is broken the moment she spots her foster mother walking the cutest dog she has ever seen across the sidewalk towards Ben’s car. She darts out of the car, suddenly overcome with joy. She speeds across the parking lot, wrapping Maz in a quick hug before giving all of her attention to her new best friend. He is small and fat, mostly white fur with patches of orange, and has a little smile and loving eyes._

_In that moment, in the rush of feeling so much love towards something, she realizes Ben is nowhere to be found. She turns her head back to see him sheepishly walking towards them, his hands shoved in his pockets. They make eye contact, and she beams up at him while he gives her a nervous expression in return._

_“Look at this dog!” she practically screams to him. The love she feels for it is immediate and unconditional._

_“What should we name him, Ben?” She barely looks out of the dog’s eyes while she poses the question. Ben wonders to himself why on earth he should have any part in naming the dog… he hasn’t even touched the thing yet. Desperately looking around and trying to think of an answer adequate enough to please Rey, he blurts out, “uhh, BB?”_

_Rey’s eyes slowly shift up from where she is crouched next to the dog to meet Ben’s. “Did you actually just suggest to me that we name my dog after the parking lot that we're in?”_

_Ben almost blurts out a stream of apologies. He almost turns around and walks back into the car to drive away. He considers quitting his job and moving across the country. But then Rey starts laughing. She laughs and laughs, a gorgeous chime of bells in the air, and he finds a small smile creeping across his own face. His eyes meet hers and next thing he knows, he is laughing too, and so is Maz, and the three of them must look insane standing there with tears streaming down their cheeks, cackling as if they had never heard anything so hilarious in their lives._

_When Rey finally gains some semblance of composure, she scoops the little dog up into her arms like a baby and says, “BB it is then. It's perfect.” She clutches the dog to her chest, and Ben has never seen her look happier._

_“Want to hold him, Ben?” she asks as she looks up at him eagerly. She knows he can't say no to her, and she wants him to love this dog as much as she already does._

_Ben hesitates for a moment, then cautiously reaches his muscular arms out. Rey softly places little BB in his arms, and she has never seen anything so adorable in her life. Kind Ben, careful Ben, her best friend in the whole world, holding the newest and brightest light in her life._

_The three of them begin walking back to the car, since Maz is staying at Rey’s for the weekend to acclimate the dog and spend time with her favorite foster daughter. It is a picture of happiness, until Rey notices that Ben is still holding BB, and the uneasy expression has not vanished from his face. She hangs back with him._

_“You okay?” she asks._

_“Uh, yeah. I guess. Is he okay? Do you think he likes me? I can't tell.”_

_Rey looks at BB. The pup is fast asleep in Ben’s arms. She looks up at him with wonder in her eyes and lets out a laugh._

_“Yeah, Ben. I think he likes you.” The two pause for a moment as Rey kisses the tip of BB’s snout. She snuggles her face into his chubby neck and smiles._

_“God, I love you” she whispers._

_“I love you, too.” Ben says softly. Rey's heart skips a beat. Or two. She did not expect that. That wasn't a line they had crossed in the two years they'd know each other. It was more of an unspoken truth than anything else._

_She stays with her head buried in between the fur of BB and Ben’s sturdy chest for a moment, deciding what to do. Finally, she lifts her head up and gives Ben a soft kiss on the cheek._

_“I think this is going to work out,” she whispers to him._

* * *

Rey gazed at Ben standing in her office doorway, clutching BB tight in his arms, and she smiled. She leaned back in her chair, took her glasses off, and started laughing. She laughed and laughed, and Ben’s look of concern only increased.

“What’s… um… was it something I said?”

Rey’s grin spread even wider, if possible. Wiping tears from the sides of her eyes, she lifted herself from her chair, and wrapped Ben in a hug, smushing BB in between them.

“Nah. I just really like your face.” She kissed his cheek so quickly he almost missed it and scooped BB out of his arms. He blinked, dumbfounded, as his cheeks flushed. Anger rose in his chest, and he mentally chided himself for allowing himself to feel a thrill when her lips met his face. His body gave away his most vulnerable emotions as his mind reeled, trying to express his confusion and anger and… just… _how dare she?_ He normally took the greatest enjoyment from any moments when Rey reciprocated the feelings he could never shake, but this time something was different. This time his frustration reached a breaking point.

“What the fuck, Rey? Poe could have seen that! And what about Chris, huh? I don't know what you think you're doing, but I'm fucking sick of it,” Ben whisper-yelled, letting out a fraction of the confusion he had been feeling for the last few days, no… weeks, actually… months since he'd broken her heart. She knew exactly how he felt about her, how he had always felt about her. He would always love her, no matter if he decided against them being together, no matter what she did to hurt him or who else she got together with.

Rey considered his outburst for a few moments. She placed the dog down, put her hands on her hips, and opened her mouth. Her answer was simple.

“You know what, Ben? I don't think it's going to work out with me and Chris.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovely readers! Surprise! A new chapter, and it's not even Wednesday! Ironic because this chapter is "Wednesday"... not to fear, Wednesday will bring another (longer) chapter with some exciting developments. However, this is my favorite chapter in the entire fic, and one of the first ones we wrote!! so I hope you all like it :) - okliv
> 
> As always, thank you for reading!! We love you all!! Comment what you think!


	7. Thursday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well, guys, here's the best 5k we have written for this story. We are geekin' out and hope you do too!!

A horde of rambunctious orientation leaders came barrelling around the corner into the campus cafe, wearing their bright red polos and talking loudly. It was the first day of Orientation, and Rey had managed to get a moment to grab a cup of coffee while Ben and Holdo did a presentation for Friends and Family Orientation. Parent Orientation was Rey’s big job for the first day of each session. It was her niche, she was great with parents, despite never having any of her own. It was Rey’s comfort with pushing independence onto students, and parents seemed to sense that. They were always temporarily taken aback by her appearance; tattoos didn’t exactly excite parents of new college students. But once she started talking, she always won their trust.

Rey wandered back over to the student activities center before lunch for a check-in meeting. She (literally) ran into Poe, looking frazzled as could be. He barely even glanced up from his cell phone, where he was avidly typing out an email, when he addressed her. “Hey Rey, this honor board case is getting intense. So after this lunch meeting, I asked Finn and Rose to stay behind with Paige, Daisy, and Ellie. We wanna make sure that they know they can rely on us, and that we are also on the same page.” She nodded.

“Yeah, of course.”

 

Lunch went smoothly, taking what felt like a lifetime to finally end. There was some reluctance of a few students to leave the room, which required some coaxing and hinting that this was, indeed, a private meeting. Rey ultimately found herself in a tight circle of desks with Poe, Ben, and the orientation leaders involved in the honor board case.

Rey sat there quietly as Poe began speaking.

“We just want you to know that we support you all, and we are here to help you through this case.”

Rey took note of Paige; her hand had a firm grip on Rose’s, and Finn’s arm was on the back of her desk chair. Paige was undoubtedly the most affected by this case. Her and Qi’ra had an awful and abusive relationship. All Rey could think about was the regret she had for spending so much time prioritizing Qi’ra, trying to help her, when she had no idea the torment she was causing her brightest students. It made her emotional to see the hurt faces of the five students she was sitting with. She blinked away tears and swallowed a hard lump in her throat.

Finn spoke up first, “We just don’t understand. What’s going to happen?”

Ben was quick to start, “We don’t know. It’s Hux’s department, but Holdo is keeping us in the loop as much as she can.” Ben looked towards Rey.

“Well, what can you tell us?” asked Rose, defensive.

“Nothing much, I’m afraid.” Rey said solemnly. “Look, we know you all are facing a lot right now and we want to help, but some things have to remain confidential.” No one looked happy. Rey didn’t feel happy.

Ben interjected, “The point of bringing us all together is to acknowledge that Rey, Poe, and I are here for you all. You can lean on us.” He gave the group a soft and loving smile and Rey’s eyes unwillingly got all swoony at him. She was beyond happy with the decision they made. _God, she hoped Finn didn’t notice._

 

Despite all the surrounding activity, Ben could not wipe the stupid grin off his face all day. He was happier than he had been in weeks. Ben had a moment in between his final presentation of the day and the scheduled time to walk over to the other end of campus to the residential quad for the dinner cookout, so he headed back to his department to catch his breath. He turned into the office, nodding a quick hello to Finn at the desk, and whirled himself into his office, shutting the door behind him.

Orientation was a lot. It was a lot for the terrified new students, a lot for the stressed to the point of hysteria orientation leaders, and it was a lot for the staff. Between himself, Rey, and Poe, they managed, but only with copious amounts of caffeine and little to no sleep. And especially after the emotional and stressful honor board case plaguing the staff, everyone was beyond exhausted. Finally back in his cozy office after ten hours of going nonstop (beginning with bringing bagels to the orientation leaders for morning registration and ending with a talk to new students about dining services on campus), he hesitated for a moment, and then collapsed into his beanbag chair. He exhaled deeply, feeling his muscles relax for the first time all day.

He wasn’t going to sleep, no, but he might just shut his eyes for a moment. He was so tired and had ten whole minutes, so it couldn’t hurt. Ben lay there, long limbs splayed out like a starfish, blazer still on, and fell asleep quicker than he had in his entire life. The chatter of orientation leaders in the student center was no impediment as he fell away into oblivion.

As he drifted into sleep, his unconscious mind wandered to one beautiful girl, like it usually did. His last coherent thought before giving way to the heaviness of sleep was that he hadn’t seen her much today… perhaps his mind was compensating for the lack of time they’d spent together. He wondered what she’d been up to…

* * *

 

_“It’s because of Ben, isn’t it?” Rey looks down at her coffee as her girlfriend (for the very limited time remaining) stares her down across the table._

_“No, no…” Rey halfheartedly replies. Chris rolls her eyes._ Of course it is.

_Rey knew that sending a text to Chris to tell her it was over was not the kindest, and she really didn’t do anything to deserve this. So she decided to do it in person, hopefully briefly. Rey only hoped Chris would understand why she was done. Turns out she did, maybe a little too well._

_“Ben and I… I’m not sure, it’s just that” Rey can't seem to find the right words. Luckily, Chris is making this easy enough._

_“Rey, it’s okay, I get it. I really enjoyed our time together.” She stands up with a businesslike air, taking her coffee with her._

_“Yeah, me too.” Rey smiles, a weight had been lifted off her chest._

_“Goodbye, Rey.”_

_“Bye…” Rey watches Chris walk out of the campus cafe and sighs with the melancholic feeling of closure._

_It’s Wednesday, the final day of prep work, and the new students are coming in the morning. Rey has a quick moment after dinner to meet with Chris and break the news, and hopefully not Chris’s heart. But with the Chris-door finally closed, it’s time to plan a last minute and heartfelt romantic gesture to get Ben back for good. Of course, Rey isn’t nearly as sappy as he is. She tries her hardest to put herself in the mindset of the love of her life._

_Rey uses her remaining forty minutes of free time to go to her office and grab a ton of snacks from the “snack room,” grab an Office of Student Activities blanket, and a bottle of wine she keeps stored in a false drawer in her desk. Rey does the quick walk across campus with a full backpack, and she meets back up with Ben, who’s helping the students make balloon bunches. The room is packed with red and black balloons. There are students filling them with helium, tying them to strings, and then Ben, sitting on the floor tying dozens of balloons to balloon weights._

_“_ _Wow! You guys are going great!” Rey smiles. Barely anyone can hear over the music being blasted but those who can greet her in return with a smile and a hello._

_Rey plops down on the floor beside Ben and reaches her hand out in offer to help. Ben places a pair of scissors in it (the safe way of course), and Rey begins curling the ends of the string. After about thirty minutes of sitting in relative silence, Ben speaks to her. All Rey can think about was how nervous she is; he was still being weird after his mini-freakout, whisper-yelling at her in her office._

_“Did you bring BB home?” he asks._ Yes, and also broke up with Chris and also plotted to commit your heart and soul to me, again.

 _“Yep!” Rey responds with about as much enthusiasm in order for him not to implore any more questions. His brow furrows._ Great. Definitely suspicious.

_“Okay.” He resolves._

_“Oh, shit,” Rey grunts moments later. She’s tired, and they pay the kids to do this anyways. He hums in curiosity. “I left that thing I need for tomorrow in the office and I don’t want to have to go back in the morning, I’ll be on this end of campus all day.” She pouts at him. “Come with me?” She gives her most hopeful smile._

_Ben returns her smile as he rolls his eyes. “Yes, let’s go.” He says exasperatedly._

_R_ _ey smiles even wider, and they both get to their feet. “Goodnight everyone!” Ben yells to the group, and they all wave back. As they’re out of the residence campus, she takes his hand._

_He looks down at their intertwined fingers, and if he’s thinking anything, he doesn’t say so. “So… what did you forget?”_

_“Umm,” Rey stutters. “My, um, notebook.” Shit. He isn’t buying this. “Uh, you know what,” she says hastily, “I’m too tired to walk. Let’s uber!” She grabs her phone with the other hand that isn’t sweating onto Ben’s._

_“Rey, it’s an eight minute walk, six if we really hustle!” Ben protests._

_“No, no, I wanna Uber. Come on,” she says, as she’s currently being assigned a driver. “Finally! Ok, Rogelio is coming in a red Subaru, 2LY835!” Rey shoots Ben a self-satisfied grin. They wait for the Uber, Rey practically shaking with nerves. Once they’re in, Ben quickly realizes they are not going to the office._

_“Rey, I think you put in the wrong address. You should cancel the ride.” Rogelio looks back in confusion at her._

_“Nope,” Rey says confidently._

_“Uhh, where are we going then?” He asks._

_“You’ll see.” Rey says and wiggles her eyebrows. Ben keeps a diligent eye on the GPS the whole time. Until, moments later, he realizes where they’re going. The park they went to a year ago. The one where Rey swore to never break his heart. After what had happened in the past year, Rey wants to laugh and wishes she could go back, to make_  him _swear to never hurt_ her _._

 _Ben doesn’t say anything. He just gives her a soft smile. After only six more torturous minutes of Ben suggestively smiling at her in the back of the Uber, Rogelio drops them off at the entrance to the park with a lot of suspicion for Rey’s character._ Yeah, maybe not telling the person you’re with where you’re going and bringing them into the back of an Uber to a park at night is not the best move.

_“Okay, now what?” Ben asks, knowing full well what’s going on._

_Rey leads him to their stop by the stone wall. Right underneath the perfect patch of what little stars you could see in the city sky. She lays the blanket out and tosses him the bag of snacks. He groans as he grabs the chocolate covered pretzels and the bottle of red wine. He pops the cork and munches on a chocolatey pretzel. They both sit on the blanket and move closer until their sides were completely pressed against each other._

_“Ben, I wanna talk about Chris.” He huffs in response. “I ended things tonight with her.” Ben whips around to look her in the eyes._

_“Really?” he asks, and he’s giving her those puppy dog eyes._

_“Yes, really,” she says.“I know things have been weird but, I love you and I want to be with you.” His eyes light up. His hand comes up and he presses it to her cheek, angling her face in the best way for him to swoop down and kiss her. And that’s exactly what he does._

_The kiss was so tender and familiar that a tear welled up in Rey’s eyes. His plush lips are soft and warm against her. His body blocks the summer breeze and fills her nostrils with the scent of him and her heart with warmth. He pulls away._

_“I love you too. And I swear. I won’t break you heart. Not again, never again.” Ben whispers his promise, his forehead pressed against hers. And Rey smiles before kissing him again._

* * *

 

Rey and Poe walked down the main stairs together after their final presentation, going over how the day had gone so far and the rest of their mutual itinerary. Most of the orientation leaders had already taken their groups back to the residence quad for the evening cookout, so they just had to head back to the department to grab a few things before heading there themselves.

Rey finished going down her list of things to do. “How’s that, Poe? Anything else I can get done today? I think we’re generally in really good shape.”

Poe looked up from his clipboard and made intense eye contact with Rey. “You know what, Rey? I’m very proud of you. You’re doing a fantastic job this orientation. I’m impressed with how under control things seem to be. Besides the tablecloth situation, of course.” They both chuckled. Rey tried not to let her face betray how thrilled she was that Poe was proud of her. The two of them never really got emotional, which was definitely a good thing, but today Rey needed to hear it. Maybe it was the exhaustion.

“And those kids really trust you. I mean, the way they’ve opened up to you about the whole Qi’ra case? That’s pretty unbelievable. They’re in good hands with you.” He must have seen the hints of tears gleaming in Rey’s eyes, because he gave her a tender rub on the back as they reached the bottom of the stairs.

“Thanks, Poe,” she replied, giving him a warm smile and trying not embarrass herself by showing how much that truly meant to her. He nodded in return and began to walk toward the campus cafe.

“I’m gonna grab a venti iced nonfat cascara coconut milk latte, can I get you anything?” he said, looking at his phone while he walked away.

“No thanks, I’ll just head downstairs and meet you at the cookout,” Rey said, turning down the hall. She heard Poe voice texting his husband as she walked away. Technically, she was supposed to already be at the cookout, but she wanted to sit down in her finally quiet office for a few minutes. And maybe catch up with Ben. She still had barely seen him during this whirlwind of a day. Breaking up with Chris already felt like ages ago, and she was itching to get to Ben.

She turned the final corner into the department to see Finn anxiously looking up at her from the main desk. “Hey kid, what’s wrong?” she asked.

“Some newbie lost their room key at the cookout, Rose is freaking out a little bit, and I was supposed to stay here at the desk until one of you guys came back to shut things down, and Ben came back but he went straight into his office and it’s been quiet, and I’ve been knocking, but he hasn’t replied, but I think I’ve heard snoring? So I just don’t know what’s going on.” He finished his rant and gasped for air, looking no less relieved.

Rey shared his concern, but solely about Ben. “Okay Finn, I’m back now so you can just head over to the dorms. Tell Rose to call Residence and they can get the student into their room until we find that key. I’ll take care of Ben.”

Looking slightly relieved, Finn grinned and stood up, slinging a backpack over his shoulders. “Alright, thanks Rey, you’re the best. Oh, and have fun taking care of Ben,” he said, nudging her shoulder with his and giving her a wink as he passed her on the way out the door.

She let out a laugh, and quickly grabbed Finn’s arm. He looked back with a playful expression, but Rey was suddenly serious. With pride glowing in her eyes, she smiled at him. “I’m super proud of you, Finn. You’re killing it as chair of orientation, keep doing what you’re doing.” Rey was feeling the love today, and figured she should pass it on. She really did love Finn. He wrapped her in a bear hug that left her stumbling, gave his thanks, and jogged away to his next task.

With finally a moment of peace, Rey turned to her final problem of the day. Ben. Although, he was never a problem so much as he was a solution. She knocked hard on his office door, with silence as the only reply. She turned around and went into her own office, opened a desk drawer, and grabbed a set of keys. Returning to Ben’s door, she went ahead and unlocked it, knowing he wouldn’t mind.

There he was, sleeping like a baby. She took in the sigh of him: mouth agape, hair spread out like an angelic halo over his beanbag chair, and one hell of a boner tenting his khaki pants. She laughed out loud and quickly closed the door behind her, leaning up against it with her arms crossed. Ben stirred at her noise, eyes opening halfway with confusion, then wide with pure panic. She watched with pure amusement as he noticed a few things at once; he had slept for far longer than he planned to, Rey was in his office, and one particular part of his body had woken up before the rest.

He opened his mouth, but nothing came out besides a few stuttering noises. The tips of his ears were turning a bright shade of red. Rey chuckled and sank down into the beanbag chair next to him, nestling herself into his eagle spread arm, and he clutched her tightly to his side.

“What a day,” Rey mumbled into his shoulder as he began to lightly stroke her hair. She knew full well how mortified he was about his current situation and was torn between mercilessly making fun of him and waiting it out until he embarrassed himself by attempting to address it. The latter won out.

“Yeah, uh, I’m sorry about, um, this… I just, uh…” he stammered, grasping for any reasoning and coming up with nothing. Rey could feel his heart rate quicken through his button down shirt. She smiled to herself, enjoying this.

Ben nervously bit his bottom lip, anticipating Rey’s next move, and it sent her over the edge. Any composure she had feigned was gone as she lifted herself on top of him. Her legs straddled him right above his hips and her hands pressed into the beanbag chair on either side of his head. She stared down at his wide eyes and panicked expression.

“What were you dreaming about, Ben?” she began to roll her hips very slightly, pressing into his hips and feeling him quickly harden even more. His mouth fell open, and he squeezed his eyes shut, his hands flying to her hips. The friction of her jeans on his khakis gave Rey her own waves of pleasure as she grinded harder against him. His large hands tried to stop Rey’s movement, but she only increased in pace, leaning down to whisper in his ear, “Were you dreaming about me? Just say it, Ben.”

He groaned as the hair on the back of his neck stood up. “We can’t do this here,” he finally said, in a low voice draped with arousal.

Rey looked at him with mischief shining in her eyes. “There’s no better place than here,” she said, leaning back and pressing her hands into his chest, still moving her hips in an ungodly way. “Everyone’s gone for the day, the office is empty, it’s just you.”

“I don’t know, Rey..” he trailed off. She stopped moving and looked him dead in the eyes.

“Are you saying you don't want me to blow you?”

She felt his cock twitch underneath her. She knew that would do the trick. He gaped at her and blinked a few times. She watched the gears turn in his brain as he considered her offer, and ultimately, his dick won out. “I would love for you to blow me,” he said, smiling.

Rey leaned over and pressed a kiss onto those smiling lips. She ran her tongue along the inside of his bottom lip, slightly swollen from his nervous chewing, and felt him breathe out a soft, low moan. She had always loved that deep voice of his, and it never sounded better than when it was making uncontrollable noises beneath her.

She began to move down his large frame, palming him over his pants as she shifted. While Ben’s eyes were squeezed shut, she glanced at the clock. 5:44. They’d have to make this quick then. Didn’t seem like it would be a problem considering how hard he already was in her small hand.

She undid his belt buckle with a practiced ease and yanked his pants down, Ben lifting his own hips to shimmy out of them. Rey gently traced his length; he was flushed a few shades deeper than his pink cheeks, and Rey ogled for a moment, a strange nostalgia overcoming her as she held his dick in her palms. She wrapped her hand around it, beginning to move up and down, her hand wet with his precum.

Ben ran his fingers through her hair, massaging circles through it. “Faster,” he choked out, chest rising and falling with uneven breaths. Rey moved her grasp more quickly and took his tip into her mouth, swirling her tongue around and tasting _pure_ Ben. She moaned on his cock and Ben let out a strangled groan at the touch of her lips, bucking his hips slightly to send himself deeper into her mouth.

Rey took him in stride. She moved with him as he pressed in and out of her mouth a few times, before running her tongue from the bottom to the top of his length, leaving him shuddering. Taking him into her mouth again, she moved in tandem with him, faster and faster, and his fingers tightened around her hair, leaving tingles of pleasure shooting through her scalp.

“Rey,” It came out as a primal, animalistic grunt as Ben canted his hips and released into her.

She loved the taste of him. Always did. She looked up at him and licked her lips. He was staring back at her, pupils blown into dark pools, with pure worship in his eyes. “God, Rey…” he breathed out, leaning his head back. She pressed one, final kiss onto his tip and tucked him back into his pants.

He finally let go of her hair, petting it into place a bit, and buckled his belt. Rey crawled over him to sit straddling his chest, combing her hands through his hair, dampened by beads of sweat.

He stopped staring at her for the briefest moment, glancing at the clock. “Shit, we have to go. But… what about you?”

She grinned. “What do you mean, what about me?” He pulled her face to his and kissed her hard, tasting himself on her tongue. He nuzzled into her neck, pressing soft kisses up to her jaw. “I want to make you feel… like that,” he said, licking a bit of his own cum off the side of her mouth.

Rey’s heart melted as she cradled Ben’s head in her hands. “Oh don't worry,” she whispered. She kissed him sinfully, and pulled away.

“You’ll take care of me later.”

 

After a few minutes side by side fixing themselves in the gender neutral bathroom, and a few more minutes speed walking to the other end of campus, Ben and Rey made it to the cookout, which was in full swing. Music was pumping through the speakers as the chefs flipped burgers and hot dogs on barbecues. New students sat in awkward circles throughout the quad, all trying to force friendships that wouldn't last two weeks into the semester, and orientation leaders took over picnic tables, talking and eating rambunctiously.

Ben approached Rose, who was talking to a nervous looking student. “Everything alright?” He asked. Rose answered him with an air of confidence, but Ben could tell she was anxious beneath it. “Yeah! Annie here lost her room key, but we’ve got some people on it! Nothing to worry about.” She shot the student a reassuring smile, then looked to Ben and one of her eyes twitched ever so slightly. He bit back a laugh.

“Well, don’t worry, you’re in good hands,” he said to the student. “And I’ll touch base with Rey to make sure we’re doing everything we can to find it.” He spotted Rey in an animated conversation with Finn in the middle of the quad and walked over to the two of them. They got awfully quiet when they saw him. Finn was staring at him with a wide and knowing grin, while Rey had her arms tightly at her sides and her mouth was pressed into a thin line.

“What’s up?” Ben asked, trying to be as normal as possible. He had a feeling Finn knew things he shouldn’t know. He suppressed that thought as hard as he could and shoved his hands into his pockets. When neither replied, he kept talking. “So, I just talked to Rose, and she says she has people working on finding the key, but Finn would you mind helping out with that? She seems stressed.”

Finn nodded and jogged off, turning backwards to nod at Rey. “Don’t forget to wash those pants in cold water, Rey! And tumble dry!” He whipped around and ran away, laughing.

Ben looked at Rey with panic. He plastered a fake smile on his face as he said, “What was that conversation about?”

Rey glanced at him uneasily and lifted one tense arm. “We uh… made a small mess,” she said, biting her lip. Of course they did. There it was. Small, but definitely there. Ben recognized his own cum. Why did Rey have to wear so much black?

“Go to the bathroom and get rid of that, right now,” he mumbled. Rey rolled her eyes at him and pressed her arm back down over the stain.

“You don’t think I fucking know that,” she punched him in the arm as lightly as she could without drawing any concerned looks, but hard enough for Ben to shut up and stop saying stupid things. She turned on her heel and stormed into the nearest dorm, locking herself in the bathroom. Scrubbing away with wet paper towels, something shiny caught her attention in the trash can. Some scavenger tendency in her awoke, and she found herself wandering towards it.

She stared into the trash can with a huge smile on her face. Reaching in, she grabbed something out of it, then dumped her used paper towels in it. She checked herself in the mirror, satisfied with her personal dry cleaning job.

She marched triumphantly onto the quad straight to where Finn and Rose were standing. “Looking for this?” she asked, opening a balled fist to reveal the missing key.

Rose looked like she could cry with relief. She threw herself into Rey, hugging her as Finn clapped her on the back. “Well, well, well, I guess everything happens for a reason, huh Rey?” he said loudly. Loud enough that Ben looked over with furrowed brows from the picnic table he was at.

Rose and the student walked back to the dorms, and Rey locked eyes with Finn. “Listen kid, if this ever gets out, and I mean ever, I will know exactly who it came from. Don’t disappoint me.”

Finn’s eyes twinkled with the joy of a shared secret and the fact that his OTP was finally back together, and he nodded with sincerity. “Don’t you worry, Rey. Just let me know when I can collect my $50 from the orientation leader bets, eh?”

“Finn, if you can keep this under wraps for as long as you need to, I will personally give you $50. And some of the office’s free movie tickets. You can go see the next Star Wars for free, alright? That’s how serious this is.”

He chuckled and nodded. “You got it, boss.”

Rey walked away from Finn with confidence. He wouldn’t let her down. Hopefully. _Dear God in the sky, please don’t let him spill this one._

Ben caught her eye from where he was sitting among orientation leaders and lifted an eyebrow. She knew he was freaking out. He didn’t have the same relationship with Finn that she did, so a student knowing was ruinsome in Ben’s mind.

Rey gave him a single, confident nod, hoping it would ease his mind. She wished she could just get in his head and tell him that they’d be okay.

Rey leaned back against a nearby tree and breathed, for what felt like the first time all day. With students buzzing all around, the sizzle of meat on the grill, the summer sun beating down on her, and the taste of Ben still lingering on her tongue, she was happy. It surprised her how happy she was. She squinted into the sun and smiled. When she looked back across the quad, Ben was staring at her.

His face softened, and her heart melted like an ice cream cone on this hot June day. He was really hers. Her Ben. _Finally._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's finally Wednesday and it's a biggie!!! Also, we are so close to 1k hits and so happy we could be on this ride with you all! And our babies are finally together!!! Let us know in the comments of what you thought! -emmalilybear


	8. Friday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey finds a light at the end of the tunnel.

It was Friday, the second day of the first session of orientation, and Ben could not focus. He stared at his computer blankly, mentally fixated on the incredible blowjob he received yesterday. And after not seeing Rey all night, he had to admit being in proximity to her and not returning the favor was getting harder and harder. _And the more he thought of it, so was something else…_

Rey’s cell phone began furiously ringing while she folded tablecloths in the student center. Ben, working on a boring spreadsheet, was curious as to who was causing the incessant ringing. He didn't make it a habit to eavesdrop, but he loved to listen to Rey talk. Straining his ears, he could hear her speak in her most controlled tone, knowing that she was trying to keep some kind of frustration reined in. He stared at his computer screen and tried to catch on to what the conversation could be about. Just as he began to draw a vague conclusion based on the bits and pieces he heard, “honor board… public safety… harassment on campus… what do you mean you didn't know?” Rey grunted in frustration and stormed away from her diligent folding and into her office.

“Fucking Hux, dean of student affairs my ass, useless piece of shit.” Ben heard Rey’s angry stream of consciousness, and it clicked that Rey must need to have a meeting with Hux. Few other people could rile her up that way.

Ben watched her scurry in and grumble her way into her office. Moments later she appeared in his doorway, clutching in her hand held high, the hanger that held her emergency button down. Rey, as everyone on campus knew, had a rather casual and what could only be described as a dark and mysterious wardrobe. Luckily, she kept a plain white button down shirt in case of emergencies in her office closet.

He made eye contact with Rey. Ben knew that look, after three years of working within ten feet of each other she had mastered it. He knew to follow her wherever she was going. Ben lifted his massive body from his desk , straightened his cardigan, adjusted his glasses, and scurried after Rey. As he walked through the student center, he made a point to smile and say hi to the students, hoping to nearly to the point of belief that would kill all suspicion that they always seemed to have. Rey didn’t seem to care, charging ahead clutching the hanger with white knuckles.

They rounded the corner and by the time they reached the gender neutral bathroom, Rey was pulling her t-shirt over her head. She slammed the door open with her foot. Entering the bathroom with Ben in close pursuit, she slid the black t-shirt she was wearing over her head and tossed it on the counter. He watched as she huffed and put her hands on her hips. Ben recounted the many times they had stood in this bathroom, any time either one of them needed to vent, rage, have sex, cry, or threaten to quit their job.

“Fucking politics, Poe should be the one to handle these situations,” Rey grumbled. Ben leaned against the counter, shoving his big hands into the pockets of his khakis, and he shrugged at her. He was really more focused on trying not to blatantly stare at every inch of her skin that was exposed to him, trying not to recall how soft it felt under his big hands. He made a decision. It had been too long since he got to touch her.

Rey scoffed into the mirror, looking at herself, glancing at him. She slid the button down up her arms and shoulders. Her hands came up to button it at her neck when his hand interjected hers. Ben had shifted to trap her between himself and the sink. He was suddenly close to her, closer than two co-workers should ever be. His hazel eyes bore into hers. He could see how stressed she was, and he desperately wanted to help. Suddenly, Rey was too focused on her own breathing while her eyes moved from his eyes to his lips and back again.

She breathed his name, “Ben… I don’t have time for this right now.” He shook his head and smirked, “Rey, I know you. You need this right now.” His nose brushed hers, and she held onto the one moment of hesitation she had left until she finally melted into the effortlessly familiar kiss of his lips.

Their lips collided instantly, and they both sighed in pure relief as everything weighing them down was lifted off their shoulders. In the safety of each other’s arms, they didn't need to worry about hiding from their students and colleagues. Rey felt intoxicated by his lips. Nothing was quite like the taste of him. His scent filled her nose, and her heart rate picked up. His tongue slipped into her mouth and she invited it eagerly, the comfort of him surrounding all her senses.

Her hands itched for more, dragging up his arms as she threaded her fingers through his thick, dark hair. As Rey’s arms wrapped around the back of Ben’s head, he slid his hands down her slim waist to grip the back of her thighs, lifting her to wrap her legs around him. The kiss deepened with Rey’s gasp, and Ben moved forward to back her against the side of a stall. Rey’s groin rubbed against his in a warm heat, and Ben released a soft, deep moan from the back of his throat. The noise alone made Rey tremble with need. With her hands in Ben’s hair, her mouth moved lower to suck on her favorite part of his neck. Rey had become well acquainted with a soft patch of skin below his jaw that made Ben melt into liquid in her hands.

“I want to taste you. It’s been too long.” Ben moaned into her mouth. Rey pulled back, his pupils were blown wide with lust and love.

Before Rey could respond, she heard noise coming from outside the bathroom. The clear laughter of Ellie and Daisy drifted into the room, and her heart rate spiked with fear and adrenaline. Ben didn’t seem to hear it as he brought her lips back to his. They had become a mess of heavy breaths and only slightly stifled moans, grinding up against each other in the bathroom. He was eager; Rey felt something like desperation as his lips moved against hers. His hands were under her shirt, warm on her skin, playing with the waistline of her black jeans. He was making a subtle yet undeniable effort to remove them. His mouth started to make its way down her neck, across her collarbones, onto the tops of her breasts.

“Ben, stop.” Rey’s resistance came out breathier than she would have liked. But luckily, he moved quickly and she knew then that he had also registered the implication of the close laughter. Too close for comfort. He swore under his breath and practically spun himself in the bathroom stall and locked the door. Rey quickly turned to the mirror to check her appearance, pushing disheveled pieces of hair behind her ears. She gripped her hands on the sink and leaned down, breathing heavily. For a moment, she could only stare at her own reflection. _They can’t be doing this. Ben is hiding himself in a stall to make sure no students caught them together! This can’t happen!_

She shut her eyes and pressed her hands to her head in frustration. The sound of the students got quieter and quieter. Ben must have also noticed because he came out of the stall slowly and sheepishly. His earlier burst of confidence faded to insecurity. The potential mortification and professional consequences of revealing themselves to the students hit them both like a ton of bricks. He darted his eyes to meet hers in the mirror and they shared a look of exasperation. Rey turned and spoke with a voice of exhaustion, “If this is gonna work, we can’t being doing this Ben.”

“God, Rey, I know. You think I don’t know that? It’s the fucking reason I ended things in the first place!” He watched as she turned around, her eyes focused on her small hands buttoning the shirt. He tried hard to hide the pain he was feeling. _This stupid job_ , Ben thought regretfully. His eyes gave away the reality of how much he loved her, how much he had always loved her. The reality they were both all too aware of was that now was not the time to be together. But his feelings for her had never faded, never wavered, and could never. Not when she was as beautiful as she was the day they met, right in this spot, three years ago. She was the most beautiful person he had ever laid eyes on.

“I’m leaving. In the fall.” Ben said, his last secret finally out on the table.

“What?!” Rey asked in absolute shock. She froze in place and stared at him in the mirror with wide eyes. “What, where? No way! You can’t leave me. Not again.” She was frazzled. Ben smiled.

“I’m leaving for us. I’ll still be in Boston, just not at Takodana.” Ben resolved.

Just then, Poe slammed the door open which sent Ben and Rey, already five feet apart, flying backwards. Thank god, Rey’s shirt was readjusted.

“There you two are, let’s go! We’re all waiting.” He left as quickly as he came.

Rey groaned, “And now we’re ten minutes late, imagine what they’re gonna say when we turn up to the group meeting together _and_ late.” Ben forced a laugh and rolled his eyes. Rey walked out with feigned confidence, running her hand through her hair and straightening her shoulders. She double checked for students outside the bathroom and walked away. Ben stayed back for another thirty seconds.

Though it had been a while, they both knew the drill.

 

Ben trailed behind Rey at a safe distance as they approached the student center. Little did they know, Poe had announced to the group that they had both been found in the bathroom. This one piece of information had the orientation leaders whispering in suspicion. Rey walked into the student center and all heads turned to her, causing her to she stop quickly. This sudden halt led an unsuspecting Ben to walk right into her, pushing Rey to take another step forward.

“Shit, sorry.” Ben mumbled, looking at the orientation leaders with a wide-eyed expression. Rey hung her head and walked to the back of the group while Ben lingered towards the front with Poe.

“Alright, we’re back.” Rey said as she took on a stoic expression and planted her feet firmly on the ground. All the students were looking at her. And thank god they were, because Rey’s eyes were instantly drawn to the blossoming hickey right below Ben’s jaw. Rey signaled to him as stealthily as she could to button up his polo all the way in hopes that would cover even some of it. Ben gave her a confused look, until finally it got through his thick head what Rey was telling him to do. He looked around anxiously, and his long fingers began to button up his polo furiously. Rey and Finn locked eyes and he shot her a wink, to which she responded with a scowl.

Now that Ben and Rey were finally joined with the rest of the group, Finn and Rose began to make a small speech about the staff and give out personalized awards to each member. Rey hated this sappy bullshit, but she knew Ben, and Ben... well, Ben cried at car commercials. As the co-chairs made their remarks for each orientation leader, Rey’s heart swelled. She loved these kids so much, and as she stood in the back she realized how much her job meant to her because she got to mentor and work with this group of students. Her eyes met Ben’s across the room, and she must have had an emotional look on her face because Ben mouthed at her, _You good?_ She nodded and blinked a tear away.

When it came time for her, Poe, and Ben to receive awards, the two co-chairs with whom she had been working so closely with began to speak. Her hands immediately clammed up.

Finn held a piece of paper tightly in his hands and shifted from foot to foot with a nervous grin on his face. He addressed the room, “We all know this person as someone who looks unapproachable, dark and mysterious, maybe is the darkness in the tunnel.” The orientation leaders laughed wholesomely, knowing Finn wasn’t one for eloquent addresses. “But, actually, Rey is the light at the end of the tunnel. She is there to drop everything and help you whenever you need it. She dedicates her day to making sure we have everything we need to be successful. Rey is really our guiding light in all the darkness. I don’t know how we would make it through without her.”

“Oh, please stop. That’s enough, Finn.” She said, highly uncomfortable by Finn’s kind words. She knew deep down that everything Finn was saying was true. Every damn day she came into this office and tried her hardest to make sure these kids were the best orientation leaders they could possibly be. All of her students were smiling at her, and Finn beamed as he laughed at Rey’s interjection.

“Anyway… yeah Rey, you get the Light at the End of the Tunnel Award.” Rey’s heart stopped beating for a second, and tears were brought to her eyes at the last time she had heard those words.

* * *

_Rey is sitting on her sofa, BB panting in her lap, enjoying his belly rub. He is the only thing making her feel better right now. Snow is falling outside and the college has closed down for the snowy January day. Rey’s mind is occupied, as it has been for the last two weeks, with Ben. 2018 has brought nothing but heartbreak and misery for her so far, and she resolves to call the only person she can think of to talk to that will make her feel better._

_Rey met Maz when she was fifteen years old. After eleven horrible years under the guardianship of a greasy asshold named Unkar Plutt, Rey was miraculously placed with Maz after Plutt was arrested after being caught reselling stolen car parts. Parts that Rey had been forced into stealing and transporting as a child._

_Living with Maz was, well, weird. She was an old gypsy who had been on her own for entire life. She had the appearance of an ageless women and the knowledge of God. Rey helped work in her restaurant which was always crawlings with all sorts of people. To Rey’s surprise and delight, Maz treated her like family from the very start. Maz never took advantage of her and even paid her a small allowance for the times she worked. Rey, already scrappy and self-reliant, got along extremely well with Maz. But Rey never felt she belonged, not until she met Ben. And this breakup is hitting her hard._

_It only took three seconds for Maz to answer her phone. “What’s up, buttercup?”_

_Maz’s loving voice pulls on Rey’s heartstrings, and seconds later, she’s crying._

_“Oh, honey, what’s wrong?” Maz’s voice is full of concern. Rey hasn’t told anyone what had happened after Christmas. She doesn’t have a ton of people in her life, their relationship was a well-kept secret, and even after all that, Rey couldn’t get herself to admit it out loud._

_She manages to croak out Ben’s name. BB starts licking her face, his best effort to comfort her._

_Maz’s response sounds something like a string of threats to Ben and Rey can’t say that part of her doesn’t wish he could feel the pain she has felt ever since he ended things._

_“I love him, and I don’t know what to do.” She cries into the phone._

_“Well, I say screw him! You should have come home for Christmas!” Maz protests. Rey laughs, she knows Maz doesn’t, in her words, “give a rat’s ass for any day other than the one I got you.” This sentiment always made Rey feel important. It makes Rey smile._

_“I miss you.” Rey feels herself calming down a little bit._

_“I miss you too, baby.” She can hear Maz’s frown from across the country._

_“He ended things, right after the holiday. With no warning at all. And I was so happy, Maz. I love him and his family is incredible. And I just don’t know what I did.” Tears started to fall again. Maz is quiet for a few minutes, no doubt thinking of what to say, what does one even say?_

_“Rey, you know what I always say,” Rey nods. “There will always be a light at the end of the tunnel.” Rey tries her hardest to smile._

* * *

The end of the meeting wrapped up quickly with Poe’s award and some final remarks from the co-chairs. They were going out to dinner that night, one big family dinner, that consisted of occupying half a restaurant and watching the students closely as food suspiciously never stopped coming to the table. Rey walked into her office, a little blurry-eyed, clutching her wrinkled award in one hand and unlocking her office door with the other. Before she could even take one step inside, she felt Ben’s presence right behind her, just close enough where they weren’t touching. If Rey felt like crying moments ago, there was no doubt the second Ben put his arms around her, she would lose it.

He shuffled in quietly behind her and shut the door. Rey didn’t even care if anyone had seen them walk in together. Nothing mattered the second Ben pulled her to his chest. Rey began to sob, an unpleasant sound that was so rare, even she forgot her body could produce a noise that repulsive. Her eyes, now wet, with mascara and eyeliner streaked down her face, looked up into Ben’s. Of course, he was crying, too.

Despite the disgust of it all, they were happy tears. Rey felt so full of love for their students, she felt honored to be able to work with them, mentor them, and be a friend to them. She couldn’t leave them. They were the best part about the shitty job that kept her and Ben apart.

Clutching her arms around his wide chest, face buried in his cardigan, she finally processed what Ben had told her earlier. Rey eagerly held on to that sliver of hope that she and Ben could finally be together.

Her light at the end of the tunnel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> STORYTIME ~  
> Laying on my bed at summer orientation, high as fuck, we had a creative vision. It hit us like a ton of bricks, I talked while Emma wrote, and what do you know, the bathroom scene was born. That scene from this chapter is the first thing we ever wrote for this fic, and we knew we had to build a universe around it (based, of course, on two of our bosses who we've shipped and we recently found out ARE ACTUALLY TOGETHER IN REAL LIFE). We are so proud of how far we've come since this scene and SO HAPPY to finally post it!!!   
> Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for reaching this point in our story, we love our readers more than anything!!   
> Comment - it makes us smile!! And feel free to hit that kudos button :)   
> See you next week! ...when we'll really earn that rating ;)


	9. Saturday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's like the first time, but all over again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone and welcome to the smut! This is my baby, please enjoy. -Emma and Liv

It had been a long day of Orientation. It was the end of session one, with two more days of session two to go. The honor board case plaguing many of their brightest orientation leaders only got worse as the days went on. Tonight was the first night with first year students on campus. Rey decided that she  _ had  _ to stay on campus, her students needed her! She absolutely was not simply telling herself this as an excuse to spend the night in Ben’s bed. She didn’t need to drift into sleep in the strong arms that she had been without for too long. Definitely didn’t crave being wrapped up under his covers with BB curled up at their feet. 

Ben living on campus was something of a curse on his and Rey’s relationship. The secrecy of being together was not helped by the fact that whenever Rey entered or left the building she had to keep up the appearance of her and Ben simply being friends. Each time they went together to Ben’s place, or even worse when she was alone, she felt the curious eyes of her students watching her like a hawk. Ben, being the shoulder to lean on for many of their students, had an open-door policy to those closest with him. 

Tonight, Rey followed Ben into the residence campus quad. He turned around and said in a low voice, “Follow my lead.” Rey cursed internally as the tone of his voice made her insides clench with anticipation. She could only nod. Ben’s eyes dropped from her eyes to her lips, giving her a look that made her toes curl. She didn’t care about the students. She wanted to be bridal-carried from here to his bed.  _ Now. _ Ben laughed at her impatient expression and resisted the urge to take her hand. They walked shoulder to shoulder through the quad and into Ben’s building. The elevator ride and walk down the hall to Ben’s apartment was acutely painful. Ben unlocked the door, fumbling with the key as Rey stood next to him bouncing up and down on her toes. 

“Got it.” Ben turned his head and smirked at her, pushing the door open. Rey laid her hand on Ben’s back and shoved him into the apartment. He laughed once again at her eagerness, but as soon as he turned around, he pulled Rey into his arms and pressed his lips to hers. 

Rey sighed into the warmth of Ben. His plush lips surrounded hers, and her eyes closed out of pure bliss. She hated him for making the decision all those months ago for the both of them. How dare he try to take this away from her. Rey didn’t have a lot in this world. BB, Maz, and Ben were the three people she could rely on. And with her body pressed against Ben’s, she decided that no one could ever break what they had ever again. He was her home. 

Ben’s hand roamed down her body and stopped at her hips. He hooked his fingers under the hem of her shirt and tugged it up over her head, breaking their kiss for only seconds before colliding again. Rey shivered as Ben’s large hands created trails of heat on her torso and back, his expert fingers unhooking her bra. 

Rey grasped his shirt in her left hand, “Off.” She gasped as his lips went from her lips to the shell of her ear, his tongue tracing the skin, leaving her breathless. Goddamn him for knowing every pressure point on her body. But, as Rey’s eyes rolled into the back of her head, she thought,  _ Bless him for knowing every pressure point on her body.  _ Ben ripped his cardigan off, and they both worked on getting the buttons on his shirt undone. Once he peeled it off, Rey’s arms looped around his neck as Ben’s hands gripped Rey’s ass. He lifted her small frame against him, and she wrapped her legs around his waist. 

Rey pulled away from his kiss and pressed her nose to his. She stared deeply into his eyes, breathing heavily. They didn’t break eye contact the entirety of the walk to Ben’s room. He placed her on the bed, both shirtless, and Rey sat up, while they each worked on taking their own pants off. Both wore annoying tight skinny black jeans that were not easy to remove in a sexy manner whatsoever. They each giggled at the other’s struggle. Each naked,  _ Finally _ , Rey thought, Ben crawled up Rey on the bed, laying kisses on her skin as he made his way from her legs to her lips. Rey felt the increasing wetness between her thighs. Her legs spread open as if they had a mind of their open. Ben sucked into Rey’s pulse on her neck and her back arched as she whimpered for more. 

Rey felt silly as this was almost a complete role reversal. Since the day they met, Ben had never hidden the fact that he was almost always incredibly desperate for her. Rey was typically the more dominant one in the relationship, but she hadn’t had him in so long that she was writhing with need, and she sensed that he pitied her. As he should. He should worship her like a deity after having had the nerve to dump her. Rey pushed Ben’s head down, “I need you,” she breathed. 

He looked up at her, “Where?” He winked at her.  _ Bastard. _

“Ben. Don’t tease me.” Rey was having none of his games.

He laughed and shook his head before flattening his tongue over her pussy lips. Rey bucked her hips into his mouth at the feeling. One hand gripped in his sheets while the other had a firm hold on his hair. She had not forgotten how good he was at this. Chris was a great lover, she always knew how to make Rey come. But Rey missed Ben. There was a special skill Ben must have been born with, he was fully equipped to set her body on fire. His tongue was a gift from God addressed to her personally, she knew it. 

Rey was close, but she was getting impatient. She wanted him inside her as soon as humanly possible. She choked out his name. No response. “Ben.” He sensed her urgency and came up for air, they both took a second to breathe, his head rested against her stomach as she combed her fingers through his thick hair. Rey’s fingers trembled as she pulled his head up to hers. He gave her a deep kiss and she could taste herself on his tongue. Their tongues intertwined and Ben moaned into her mouth. 

“I thought I said I was gonna return the favor.” Ben smirked.

“I need you inside me. Right now.” Rey urged. 

He lined himself up and choked at how easily he slid into her. Home at last. Her warmth clenched tightly around him and as he sunk further in, the sensation caused him to lose control of his body. His chest was now pressed against Rey’s, and she could feel his heartbeat on her skin. Her forehead touched his, and she took a deep breath. They were finally connected. There would be no more separating them for as long as they lived. 

After a moment of being reunited, Ben began to move. At first, his movements were slow and steady, but as they both got increasingly closer to falling off the edge, Ben picked up speed. He was pushing deeper and deeper, hitting the spot within Rey that gave her overwhelming pleasure over and over again. Ben was swearing as Rey released noises that closely resembled over exaggerated adult films. 

“You’re so beautiful.” Ben said as he looked down at her, his eyes hooded and drowsy from pleasure. Rey’s eyes, previously screwed shut, opened to peer into his. She smiled. 

Rey looked him in the eyes. They were kissing and laughing, and she felt so happy and....“I love you,” Rey spoke. It was the truth, she loved Ben more than anyone or anything on this planet. She finally realized tonight, after months of fighting the feelings she had felt for three years, that no one would ever compare. Chris was nothing, just a temporary person to fill the massively Ben-sized hole in her heart. 

Ben didn’t have the chance to respond because as soon as Rey had spoken, Ben came. And he would be damned if she didn’t come in that exact moment as well. Ben brought his hand lower to where they were joined and rubbed his fingers until Rey was shaking underneath him. Rey sobbed as she came, overwhelmed by the sensation of clenching down on him at the same time he released himself into her. As they both came down from their orgasms, Ben rolled over to his side of the bed. He hissed as he was sensitive to the cold air he was then exposed to. Rey whimpered at the loss of him. Ben laid on his side in front of Rey, “I know. I love you, too.” 

They laid there for a long time, until suddenly, at eleven o’clock, there was a knock on the door. Ben lifted himself out of bed with a quiet groan, striding to the door to check who it was. Outside on Ben’s doormat stood, of all people, Rose. Ben tiptoed back to his bed, “Shit, it’s Rose. You have to hide.”

Rey’s arms flew in the air, “Excuse me? Send her away!” She urged. 

Ben made a noise of hesitation, “Rey…”

“Ben,” Rey drew his name out on her tongue. “Tell her to go.” 

“You have to hide. Now.” Ben decided and threw her a sweatshirt off the floor. 

“Ben?! No!” Rey whisper-yelled but Ben disappeared to the front door. 

“Shit, shit, shit.” Rey mumbled as she pulled the sweatshirt over her head. “You have got to be kidding me,” She rolled her eyes and hid in the closet. The closet, conveniently, connected the two rooms, and as she stepped in from the bedroom, through a rack of clothes, she could see through the shuttered panels into the living area. Rey watched Rose take a seat on his kitchen chair and huff, exasperated. Rose was a key participant in the honor board case since she was one of the students sitting on the hearing. She was also very close with Ben, and he was her most trusted confidant. It made Rey so happy to see other students lean on Ben. He was the absolute best person she knew, and her own confidant. Ben sat down next to Rose and started rubbing her arm as Rose burst into tears. She gasped and slapped her hand over her mouth, but Rose didn’t seem to notice. Neither did Ben, both occupied by the crying. 

Finally, Ben got Rose to talk. It didn’t take long but once Rose started she didn’t stop. Since it was clear that Rose wasn’t moving any time soon, Rey left the closet, spending time on her phone in bed, and cursing Ben over and over for letting her in and not getting rid of her by now. _ They just had sex for the first time in forever! This is precious time they’re wasting!  _ Rey, endlessly frustrated with Ben, debating on jumping out of the closet naked. For two reasons: one, to scare Rose, and two, so there would be little barrier for his skin to touch hers. But, over course, that would mean both of them losing their jobs, and god knows what else. 

Rey finally was about to call Ben to distract him with a fake emergency when she saw through the closet that Ben was getting out his tequila and pouring two shots.  _ Ben _ , she thought hesitantly,  _ those better both be for you. _ Rey almost screamed with shock when Rose and Ben both picked up a glass and poured it down their throats. Rey started laughing to herself,  _ what the hell did she just witness?  _ Ben, giving alcohol to one of their students, who was of course of age, but it was incredibly risky nonetheless. He was insane. Rose left shortly after, and Rey fell out of the closet laughing. 

“Did you just get Rose drunk?” Rey asked incredulously.

Ben shrugged, “She looked like she needed a drink. Besides don’t be so fucking hypocritical! I  _ know _ you smoked weed with Finn.” He crossed his arms, knowing he had won.

Rey rolled her eyes. “Fine, whatever. I just thought it was hilarious.” She burst into laughter, and he soon followed suit. As they stood there laughing, it hit Rey that they were once again alone and it had been hours since she had him, and now there were hours more until the sun came up. 

Rey dragged Ben closer to her by the collar of his shirt and smacked a kiss on his mouth. That got him to stop laughing. “I want to have sex. Again. In fact, at least two more times.” He clutched his hands on her ass and pulled her towards him even closer. Ben’s lips trailed from her mouth down to her neck. Rey was breathless when she added, “Then, I want to get really,  _ really _ high.” 

Ben looked up at her and smirked, “And cuddle.”

Rey laughed, “Yeah, let’s cuddle.” She shook her head,  _ how did she get so lucky? _

* * *

 

Rey watched as Ben sparked her lucky lighter, his lips puckered around the glass bowl. Rey was convinced that there was nothing this man could do that wasn’t effortlessly sexy. He dragged the smoke into his lungs and held it there as he passed the bowl to Rey. She couldn’t help herself as she leaned over and bumped his nose, she pressed her lips to his and he opened his mouth up. Rey invited the hot smoke into her mouth from his, breathing in as she swiped her tongue across his. Ben groaned as Rey turned away from her face and blew the smoke out. 

“I’m an idiot.” Ben murmured into her skin. 

Rey hummed in agreement as she took a hit of the bowl. 

He laughed, “Don’t you wanna know why?”

“Sure, Ben. Why?” Rey looked down at his head leaning on her arm.

“I should have never made a decision for the both of us. Really. I’m sorry.” He looked into her eyes. She looked down at him and smiled. His pupils were were the size of saucers.

He was so high. “No hard feelings, Solo. I forgive you.” Rey said softly, she ran her fingers gently through his thick, tousled waves.

“Solo…” Ben pondered the name, his own last name. “Rey Solo.” He said experimentally, although not as if for the first time.

 

 

_ The fall semester was in full swing. With the fall carnival, activities fair, and college cookout, it was Ben's busiest time of the year. Well, Ben’s only busy time of the year.  _

_ “Hey, Rey,” Ben said walking into her office, “Do you have the number for the student who said they needed the MBTA pass?” Ben asked.  _

_ Rey, startled, quickly held her notebook to her chest and scrambled to grab a few more papers on her desk. _

_ “What are you hiding?” Ben was suspicious now at her red cheeks and wide eyes. _

_ “Nothing.” She said all too quickly. _

_ Ben’s brow furrowed. “Okay, then, well, let me see your notebook.” _

_ “No!” Rey clutched it harder to her chest. Ben smiled. _

_ “ _ Rey _ ,” he said teasingly. “Let me see your notebook.” _

_ “Nope.” She got up quickly and darted out of the office. Ben whipped around and followed her, their shared space wasn’t big and Ben was about two times the size of her. Cornering her by the empty student desk took mere moments.  _

_ Rey rolled her eyes in defeat and loosened her grip so Ben was able to retrieve the notebook. _

_ Drawn in haphazard, scratchy pen lines was a heart with an arrow through it. In the middle were two words.  _ Rey Solo.

_ Ben started smiling like an idiot. He got so close to Rey that she could feel his breath on her face. In a low voice, he whispered, “I wish I could kiss you right now.” _

_ Rey’s cheeks were impossibly red. She had never been more embarrassed in her life. _

_ “ _ Rey Solo. _ I like the sound of that.” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please kudos and comment! It makes us so happy!


	10. Sunday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last day of orientation, honor board results, and our two faves navigating through it all...

Rain slapped onto the pavement, loud and messy, as Rey sprinted across campus. Her feet crashed through puddles, wetting her socks and making her cringe as cold, wet fabric clung to her entire body. She gripped her work bag tightly and pushed strands of wet hair out of her eyes while running, in an effort to not be hit by a car or hit a pedestrian herself. 

Three minutes before, her phone had rang. It was Hux. The honor board case was over. 

Two minutes and thirty seconds before, her phone had rang again. It was Finn. He was begging her to get to the student life office as fast as she could. Hux, the bastard he was, wouldn’t tell the kids what the results were, what was going to happen to Q’ira, whether her beloved students would live in safety or fear for the rest of their time at Takodana, unless she was present. Apparently he didn’t want to have to explain everything twice. Bastard. 

So she had talked Finn down from his panicked state as she wound herself into one. The good news was she would be able to get to the office quickly, since she was already on campus.

In the dorms. 

In Ben’s bed. 

They’d overslept. The warmth of Ben’s arms was always like the most perfect blanket, and with the rain providing perfect background music outside, she had no motivation to move from her bliss. But those phone calls did the trick, and Rey rolled out of bed and scrambled into the exact same clothes she had worn yesterday, not even bothering to run a brush through her hair or wash her face before grabbing her bag and clambering out the door with not so much as a “good morning” or “goodbye” in Ben’s direction. 

As she ran, lungs beginning to burn from lack of air and lack of stamina, she considered that maybe this rain was a good thing. Convenient, at least. Her bedraggled sex hair would be matted down, yesterday’s makeup would wash right off, and maybe it would take the wrinkles out of yesterday’s clothes that she’d thrown on from the floor next to Ben’s bed.  _ Thank goodness he didn’t literally rip them off my body _ , she thought to herself. He had a habit of ruining her clothes in the past. 

Through the sounds of torrential rain, her own ragged breathing, and ambulance sirens intermingling with city traffic, Rey thought she heard someone call her name. No, there was no way. She had a one-syllable name, this happened all the time. There weren’t even any people on the sidewalk, everyone else having the common sense to stay inside and avoid potential pneumonia. She kept running. 

“REY!”

It was clearer this time, and much louder. And coming from a deep, familiar voice. Rey stopped in her tracks and whipped around, stunning into stillness by the sight that met her eyes. 

Ben was sprinting towards her. Naked. 

Well, not completely naked. He had on a pair of pinstriped boxers and black dress socks sagging around his ankles. Despite the pure madness of it all, Ben’s massive muscular body hurtling towards her in the pouring rain, for a moment Rey could only think about how uncomfortable those soggy socks must be. 

Rey stood in place and stared at Ben with pure wonder and confusion, watching his eyes widen and his mouth open to scream her name one more time. 

“Rey, MOVE!” She had no idea what he was saying one second, and the next second she realized she was standing in the middle of an intersection and a car was turning, straight through the crosswalk she was caught in the middle of. Rey screamed and stumbled backwards, narrowly missing the car as it honked and sped by her. 

As soon as the car blew past her, leaving her spinning, Ben reached her and swept her into his arms, lifting her feet a few inches off the ground. 

“Don’t fucking scare me like that,” he said into her hair as he cradled her head, carrying her to the sidewalk. Rey was too stunned by it all to reply. He placed her down on the sidewalk, but held his large hands tight around her waist, looking into her eyes with concern. 

“What the hell is going on, Rey? Why’d you leave like that? Is everything okay? Was it something I did?” Ben asked, his tender voice melting Rey’s heart into one more puddle on the pavement. 

Despite the way her heart skipped a beat and her stomach dropped to a warm heat between her thighs, she just couldn’t wrap her mind around the sight in front of her. Her body was able to grasp reality far more than her logical mind in this moment. 

“Why are you naked?” she asked with furrowed brows, choking out the only words she could think of. 

Ben didn’t even crack a smile, simply stating back to her “I had to follow you. You left too fast for me get any clothes on.”

Rey smiled slightly. She loved his undying devotion to her; it was the stuff of movies. “Oh. Okay,” she said, grounding herself to reality. Even though they were back together and Ben would be leaving Takodana soon, she didn’t think it would be wise for him to be seen naked in the street, especially not touching her the way he was. She moved his hands off from her waist and clutched them in her own for a brief moment. 

“The honor board case is over. I have to get to the office. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, but you were asleep, and you looked so peaceful, and I need to be there, like, now.” Rey grabbed his wide shoulders and tried to turn him around to head back to the dorms.

“Go put some fucking clothes on, you idiot. You’re gonna catch pneumonia.” She pushed him away with a wide smile on her face, but Ben wouldn’t budge. He only leaned in closer to her, pressing his wet forehead to hers, close enough that she could see his breath coming out in small puffs in the chilled morning air. 

“You’re amazing,” he whispered to her, and then he closed the distance between them. Rey sighed into his lips as they forcefully met her own. She lightly bit down on his lower lip and pulled away. “I really do have to go. Meet me there as fast as you can,” she murmured, pressing a kiss to his cheekbone and pushing him back towards the dorms once and for all. 

She started walking backwards while she watched him jog away, in awe of the way the muscles in his back moved while he ran. As if he could feel her watching, he turned around and winked. 

Stumbling on her feet, Rey laughed. Finally, she turned around and picked up her run to the office. She ought to have regained her breath while she’d taken a pause, but it was still gone. 

Rey stumbled into the student center, met by a silent circle of students sitting in anticipation. And between them all, Hux. The sniveling redhead sat with an air of superiority. Finn stood up when he caught sight of her. “Okay, Rey is here, what happened?”

“Qi’ra was expelled, and she is removing her things from campus as we speak. The honor board was unanimous in her expulsion. And in regard to her other potential charges, that information is now in the hands of the Boston Police Department to do with as they please. Any of you, with probable cause, hold the opportunity to take legal action against her yourself.” Hux finished, and Paige started crying. Daisy and Ellie immediately rushed to her side. 

Finn, the ever emotional young man he was, cried out. “Seriously Hux?! We just waited for nothing, you couldn’t have told us that and  _ then _ told Rey?” Rey put her hand on Finn’s arm.

“Hey, it’s okay.” Rey said, and Rose came over and hugged Finn. 

“Hux, let’s chat, shall we?” Hux followed her into her office. Rey could hear the wet squish of her socks as she led the way. She sat down in her desk chair, normally her first move would be to remove her shoes but she knew she had to present herself as professionally as possible. Hux always had a problem with taking her seriously.

“Where’s your other half?” Hux asked, and Rey almost choked.

“I assume you mean my co-worker, Ben. And he should be on his way to the office, but I wouldn’t know.” Rey said nonchalantly. And as if he had been summoned, Ben appeared in the doorway.

“I’m here, what happened?” He rushed in and shook his hair like a wet dog. 

“Qi’ra is expelled, she’s leaving now.” Rey told him. Ben took a deep sigh and pushed his hair from his face in a way that made Rey’s heart flutter. 

“Thank God, these kids can finally feel safe here again.” Ben took a seat beside Hux. He was wearing new clothes, unlike her. A delicious arm-hugging burgundy tee that was damp with rain making it impossibly tighter on his physique and a pair of navy dress pants. Rey cursed him for looking so put together. She was wearing a grey button down shirt that was thrown on with so much haste it looked like she got dressed in the dark and wrinkled black dress pants that hugged her ankles. Her toes wiggled in her soaked-through converse. Damnit, she wanted to take her shoes off almost as badly as she wanted Hux out of her office. 

“What I wanted to tell you both, of course Poe and Holdo already know, is that none of us believe that Qi’ra won’t go quietly from campus, and that she is likely to try to sneak back in. We are going to have to work close with Public Safety to make sure the students that Qi’ra is likely to harm, stay safe from her. So be aware and keep an eye out. We believe that Qi’ra does not have much left to lose, and in her mental state, who knows what could happen.”

With that, Hux got up and left. Rey’s head fell into her hands. Qi’ra was expelled, but she would never be gone. She remembered when Qi’ra was an orientation leader, a promising student with a bright future. So much had changed in the last year. She felt a soothing hand run up and down her arms, bringing her hands down from her face. Ben had shut the door and now was kneeling in front of her, cradling her hands in his. He kissed her forehead, both her cheeks, her chin, and her nose before placing a pillowy soft kiss on her lips. 

“Hey, talk to me.” He whispered to her.

A tear streamed down her face, “I need to take my shoes off.” She gave a watery laugh. He chuckled and made quick work of her shoelaces. Next thing she knew her bare, damp, and cold feet with being worked in Ben’s hands. She leaned back in her chair and resisted a very loud moan. Rey clenched her eyes shut, trying to relax her mind and body. Let Ben’s magical hands relieve all the pressure and anxiety from her body. 

“These poor kids, Ben. This shit doesn’t happen in real life. No one should have to go through what any of them are going through!” Rey felt exhausted, which was a sin considering she just had the greatest night of her life. “I can’t believe this is happening, and it’s over but it’s doesn’t feel even close to over.” Rey wanted to scream. Ben’s fingers hit the perfect spot, and her yell turned into a sharp intake of breath and a sound that was not appropriate for the office. Rey peered down at Ben to see him smiling. She couldn’t help but smile back, shaking her head. 

“Hey,” Ben urged gently, “It’s the last day.” That made Rey smile even wider.

“Finally,” Rey breathed.

* * *

 

Rey and Ben later found themselves on either side of a long dinner table, between them, their thirty wonderful orientation leaders who were done with summer session. They were at TGI Friday’s and with a twenty dollar per person budget, there were no hold backs as the table was full of special drinks and appetizers with main courses and desserts on the way. Everyone was de-stressing and relaxing, but all Rey could think about was the next two months: Ben leaving Takodana, their future, planning Fall Orientation, the threat of Qi’ra’s potential looming presence, and here she was, an entire table away from him. Rey excused herself and walked towards the front door. She stepped outside, noticing that the rain had died down to a soft misting. 

She turned around to the sound of the door opening and shutting. It was Ben, of course it was. Her arms still crossed, she gave him a sad smile. 

“It’s over.” She looked back up at the cloudy sky, and her cheeks were wet, with tears or the rain she couldn’t quite tell. It was their last orientation together. After three incredible years of working side by side and mentoring amazing students, Rey was going to be alone again. A sob took her by surprise. Ben rushed over to her and hugged her from behind. He whispered soothing words into her ear, his warms arms wrapped around her. She turned around in his arms and sunk herself deeper into his warmth. Rey took a deep breath with Ben’s hand running up and down her back.

“I’m gonna be alone again.” She whispered into his chest. 

“What are you talking about?” Ben asked in disbelief. He pushed her away from him so that he could look her in the eyes. “Never, not as long as I’m here.” Rey smiled.

Her hazel eyes locked on his. The world faded away in the perfect way that it did when it became just the two of them, aware of only each other. Nothing had to be said, there they were, standing in front of a TGI Fridays, holding each other and swimming in each other’s gaze with so much understanding and love it was equally terrifying as it was wonderful. In this instant they both knew that what they shared was a rare treasure, something that would stay between them for the rest of their lives, carried with the knowledge that neither of them would be alone again, not entirely, not completely, not ever.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter! We know it's not long but we were going for a short and sweet finale. We do plan on writing an epilogue so look for that in the coming weeks!  
> Thank you all so much for being on this journey with us, we had such a great experience writing this fic this summer and this is not the last you will see from us!
> 
> Please, comment down below what you think! and what you want to happen in the epilogue :)

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to our college student leadership office fanfic! Can you tell we're both Orientation Leaders? This is admittedly based on our bosses' love life. So happy to finally post this; comment below and tell us what you think!
> 
> Follow us on Tumblr! @starry-sailing and @emerbear


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